Crossing Lines
by 88silverkeys
Summary: SLASH Sirius Black: always crossing lines and breaking rules, but he is driven to cross new lines with the new DADA teacher. RLSB SBRL
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own squat.**

Chapter 1

Sirius was late to class. Again. He had a nasty habit of doing that. But this time it wasn't his fault, _honest_. Like the professor was going to believe that.

Although, Sirius thought, it was the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. There was a good chance that it was a quiet, fearful old man who Dumbledore had conned into teaching for a year.

The problem was that the job didn't have the same occupant for a long period of time and therefore got a reputation of being cursed. They usually got some crazy, 'out-there' teacher who, to be honest, probably wasn't quite qualified.

Sirius arrived to the door and was about to go in, when he remembered to quicken his breathing and jog in place for a moment to give the illusion he had run all the way from the Gryffindor Tower in effort not to be late to his _favourite_ class.

Sirius entered the room and glanced around, sensing a quiet, attentive air that he chose to ignore. After all, one of the students was still up at the board writing, assumedly profanity.

"What are you all doing?" Sirius cried dramatically. "We're 10 minutes into Dark Arts and the teacher's still not here! We've got another crackpot, this is going to be a good year!"

"Crackpot?" The student looked up, amused, from his writing on the board. "I was not aware I was a crackpot."

Sirius' heart fell through to his stomach. He quickly deduced that the 'student' was no student at all, but rather a young teacher. A _very _young teacher. This man…boy? Well, _he_ could have been as old as the 7th years sitting in the room.

But he looked wise. His face was pale and he had brown eyes that seemed to pierce Sirius. His had more wrinkles than any young man should, but they were partially covered by the dirty blonde hair that fell over his face. It was quite becoming.

Sirius recovered quickly and bowed spectacularly. "My most sincere apologies, Professor…" he glanced up at the board where the name _Professor Lupin_ was written above some notes. "Lupin!" He finished smugly.

"Consider yourself forgiven…for now." The class laughed appreciatively. "Take your seat, please."

Sirius grinned and quickly ran to the back of the room, slipping into the seat next to James. He immediately began whispering. "What the hell is with Lupin?"

"Yeah, what is he, fourteen? Seems smart though." James commented quietly.

The two boys continued discussing the chances of getting away with pranks and other misdemeanors in his class, oblivious to the classroom surrounding them. They both finally stopped speaking after that all too well known moment of talking into complete silence. The class was staring at them, many with looks of anticipation of the boys' antics and lust at the boys' striking good looks.

Lupin glanced down at the list of students. "Mr. Potter? I was just telling the class that we will be reviewing magical creatures for a time and asking a question about hinky-pucks, when I happened to notice you and your extraordinarily tardy friend we discussing something entirely different. Now please, enlighten us."

Lupin crossed his fingers and balanced his chin on their tips, waiting with practiced patience for an answer.

"I was taking notes, sir. I don't know what you think you saw, but I'm sure a hinky-puck conspiracy was the cause of such visual alterations." James stated seriously, with such innocence that it was almost believable. The class laughed.

Lupin nodded. "How interesting, because I do recall that _my_ mouth should be open when you take notes, not the other way around. You and the tardy boy have just lost 5 points for Gryffindor each." A few classmates groaned, but knew it was to be expected.

Sirius smirked at the teacher and feigned offense. "I would prefer, Professor Lupin that you give me a more flattering name than Tardy Boy."

"You want a better name? Earn it." Lupin stared seriously at the now shocked face of Sirius Black. The class all 'oo-ed at Black getting in 'trouble'. With that the bell rang. "Please read the first half of Chapter 1 by Wednesday, that is all."

Sirius shook his head slightly and picked up his books quickly. The teacher was witty. Too fast for his own damn good. Okay, fine…for _Sirius'_ own damn good. He didn't like being shown up by a teacher, especially one that could have been a peer. He would simply have to make better efforts to maintain his reputation as class clown and a teacher's greatest challenge.

This was going to be a hard year.

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_Sirius Black._

Remus starred at the name of the boy who had given quite the entrance, the only one who hadn't answered during role call. He was a **Black**, one of the few pure-pureblood families remaining, with the prejudices and arrogant pride to back it up. The family traits didn't seem to fit the boy in his class, however.

And what in God's name was the boy doing in the Gryffindor class? Remus wondered, sitting alone in his office that night. He seemed different than who Remus assumed was his brother, whom he had in a 3rd year class with Slytherins.

Remus had to say, he liked the older Black better. He was dark-haired and had the bad-boy appeal that the gir--. Wait stop. Why on earth was he thinking about the boy's physical features? He was a grown man, two years out of school with his first real job. This was ridiculous.

Remus shook his head and stared out the window to the Quidditch pitch where he believed he saw the Ravenclaw team practicing. Yes, there was their slightly over-weighted Beater, a young boy by the name McCall. Smart kid, apparently terrible coordination however.

Remus lost himself thinking about Quidditch and the different teams. He wondered if Sirius was on the Gryffindor team, he certainly looked like a team member. He had a strong build and an incredibly well-toned chest, from what Remus could see through the uniform shirt and tie. That was a sexy uniform on him…

STOP! Damn it, he'd done it again. Back to the Tardy Boy. He needed to keep up with that name, that impersonal relationship. Picking on the boy or ignoring him all together.

Remus threw his head into his hands, angry at himself for thinking about another man. He thought he'd stopped those kind of feelings years ago. Apparently, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was wrong.

**I hope this was good or close to it, first slash and all…Please review! I can take some corrective criticism, but no flames! Of course, I can always take lots of compliments too, they would brighten my day. And I really need it lately...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Yo ****tengo nada. ****Qué lastima**

**Thanks for all the reviews, I'm glad everyone likes the start I've got. But let's see how much you like it when I attempt 'intimate encounters'. **

Chapter 2

Weeks had passed and the October was upon Hogwarts. _Professor_ Lupin (that title felt so hilarious to use on another kid) and Sirius still had confrontations, much to the entertainment of Sirius' classmates.

Sirius was frustrated, however. Lupin either flat out ignored him or gave dry, almost indifferent remarks. It was killing his reputation. He thrived on the shock value. So he continued to try, in vain, to get Lupin to crack a smile at his behavior or lose it and start yelling. He wasn't picky, either would work.

Other than the occasional exchange of words, Sirius kept quiet in class. Barely conscious, borrowing Peter's notes later…okay, stealing them. But they were friends and he was entitled to his friend's property, right? Of course. But that still didn't help his grade.

Sirius was failing DADA for the first time ever. They had moved from review into intense studying of how to tell what kind of spell someone might use against you…without them speaking. They had mastered silent spells the year before, but it was difficult. Especially for Sirius, who spent his time watching Lupin or sleeping, watching for reactions.

But what bothered Sirius most was _why_ it bothered him. Why did he care what Lupin thought of him? It was pathetic; it almost felt like he was trying to impress the teacher with his sarcastic comments in class. And then there was the issue of the week before.

_Sirius had been dozing off in class. When the bell rang he jumped with a start and started to gather his books. _

"_Mr. Black, see me after class please." Lupin's voice was calm, although Sirius could sense some concern. He finished packing and went to the front of the classroom, sitting down at a desk. Lupin had just shut and locked the door._

"_Mr. Black, I've been watching you for a few days and you seen particularly distracted. Exhausted. Tell me, is everything okay?" _

_Lupin had sat down next across from him, leaning against the desk. It was very cute, combined with the ruffled hair and slightly loosened tie._

"_No, sir. Everything is good." Sirius couldn't think of something that had been plaguing him. Damn. When someone finally worries about his well-being he has nothing dramatic to report. _

"_I don't believe you. Let me help." Lupin looked at him shrewdly. _

"_There's nothing to help with, I'm just…sore from Quidditch." Sirius gave a problem that was entirely untrue but believable._

_Lupin had walked behind him and leaned down, whispering huskily in Sirius' ear. "I can help." Then he slowly started to massage the younger boy's shoulders, letting his hands slide down the front of Sirius' shirt, slowly undoing buttons. _

_Sirius felt his breath hitch. He was now shirtless in an empty classroom with another, _olderman_. Was he completely insane? But…oh god. Lupin's hands were magic, as was his voice when he whispered again to Sirius. This time saying, "Stand up." Sirius obeyed and was led over to the cleared-off desk._

_Lupin pressed him down on it, climbing on top of him and straddling his hips. He kissed down Sirius' face, from his ear lobe to his chest, all the while the hands roaming Sirius' stomach and waist region. _

_He removed Sirius' belt and undid the pants quickly, pulling them down. His hands rubbed Sirius stomach done slowly from his navel, not stopping as he reached Sirius' growing erection through the boxers. Sirius gasping for air, moving beneath him. _

"_Please…hurry." Sirius managed to choke out. Lupin was smiling and fiddling with the waistband, as if debating whether to continue. He let go and struggled up to Sirius' face and kissed him quickly, grinding his obvious arousal into Sirius._

_Sirius groaned with pleasure, bucking his hips. _

"_Sirius!" Lupin gasped in shock at the move. "Sirius, Sirius…"_

"_Sirius! For the love of God, get up! I'm not calling you again, you idiot! Great, now I sound like your psychotic mother, happy?" James sounded irritated as he shouted into the thick silence of the early morning dormitory. _

Sirius had woken up, thankful for the dark layers of sheets and James' lack of interest. He prayed he'd been silent in real life.

But what was that? Some sick dream-experimenting? Now it was all Sirius could think about. He felt so wrong…because it felt right. No! Of course it didn't, he just was…going crazy with a lack of sleep. But he wanted to bring the dream back, simply to understand the 'why'. Yeah, that's right…he just wanted to interpret the dream. Nothing else. It was wrong and gross, totally stupid.

For the past week since then Sirius had been out with as many girls as possible, blowing off homework if necessary. He tried to get as far as he could with each one, desperately trying to get the same situation he had experienced in his dream in reality, only with a girl. He refused to acknowledge, but the homework blowing off came with a price, and Sirius needed help in DADA class.

James was off these days, what with strategizing their next game or wooing the lovely Miss Evans.

Peter was quiet, introverted. It infuriated Sirius off that he would be forced to start all conversations with awkward, one-word answers form the chubby boy. So he avoided Peter for awhile, knowing full well the boy would come around eventually.

Lily was always an option. Obviously, she was bright and was probably a good teacher, but asking to be tutored by your best friend's love interest? That would be a bad move. Plus, they hated in each other as a general rule.

So Sirius was back with Plan P (for Painfully embarrassing): Ask Lupin for help.

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"Finish outlining Chapter 6 this weekend and don't forget the essay on the Blinding Curse is due next Tuesday. Have a good weekend!" The scrape of desks and bags echoed around the classroom. Sirius took a deep breath and stood up.

"Hey, Sirius hurry up! James has a new idea about Snape, but all I know is it involves something with making a scene in the Great Hall!" Peter called to him mischievously.

Sirius swallowed. "Um, I'll be right there. I have to talk to Lupin first." Sirius glanced at the teacher who he could see visibly stiffen. Misinterpreting the reason, Sirius added, "Sorry, _Professor_ Lupin."

Peter looked disappointed, but continued on his way, leaving Lupin and Sirius alone in the classroom.

"Professor? I need help." Sirius hated how unsteady his voice was.

"Mental help? I could have told you weeks ago." Lupin quipped dryly. He had finished putting his things in his bag and looked ready to leave, avoiding Sirius' face.

"No, well probably, but I need help from you..." Sirius saw the teacher look up in shock.

He quickly recomposed himself and shrugged, looking back down.

"Well, I'm sorry Mr. Black, but I'm very busy this weekend. Perhaps I could arrange another student to assist you. Miss Evans could help you, although pairing you with the opposite gender for work would hardly be a good move." Sirius looked down and blushed, remembering the dream.

Lupin must have noticed this and misinterpreted adding, "Mr. Brady would also be a worthy candidate, he seems to grasp the concepts this week very well…and he's male." Lupin joked quietly. If possible, the young Black blushed more.

"Please help me?" Sirius looked up suddenly with an expectant, pleading look in his eye. The dark, almost black eyes bore into Lupin and he felt he couldn't look away. Sirius' gaze softened, but he still held his teacher's. "Please?"

"I…this really isn't a good time…I mean, there is…" Lupin, it appeared, had difficulty saying 'no' to the plea. He technically wasn't allowed to say no; this was his student asking for help.

They two men were interrupted by Professor McGonagall at the door. She popped her head in quickly and turned to Lupin, "Remus, can I borrow you for a moment? There's a…" She trailed off when she saw Sirius, who had just turned around, his back to the door moments before. "Black? What are you doing here on a Friday afternoon?"

" I was asking Professor Lupin for help…when is best for you?" Sirus smiled innocently and turned back to Lupin who was looking at McGonagall, knowing his answer now.

"Well, tonight…I suppose. After dinner, maybe eight?" Lupin finished grudgingly and awkwardly.

"Thank you, Professor." Sirius nodded quickly and walked past McGonagall, trying to understand why this caused a sudden surge of excitement in his stomach.

McGonagall didn't bother to hide her shock after Black left. "Sirius Black is asking you for help? For a class? This is amazing."

Lupin nodded, unsure of how to respond…was that a good 'amazing'?

"I'm very proud of you, Remus. Black is extraordinarily stubborn and refuses to ask anyone for anything. I think it's the family pride, but you didn't hear that from me. You must have gotten into him somehow."

Remus shivered at the sickeningly perverted image that came to mind. "Well, it's my job. I'm glad to help the students."

"Yes, but Black! Maybe…well, you probably wouldn't want to do this. It was be wonderful, but you…"

"What?" Lupin would probably regret asking this.

"Well, perhaps you could tutor him regularly, maybe with all the subjects. He doesn't usually need help, but you could keep him on task. I'll ask Dumbledore what he thinks."

"But I really, I mean, I have a lot…its not exactly…Black probably doesn't want…I…" Lupin didn't know why he had bothered to open his mouth if this gibberish was all that came out.

"Yes, I figured you wouldn't be interested. You seemed too reluctant to help him for one study session, let alone 2 a week. But you can't left him intimidate you. I swear, that boy can smell fear. Well, you just let me know how this session goes…Black asking for help…you are a gifted man Remus!" McGonagall turned and left, without having even mentioned why she had originally come in.

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Remus slumped in his seat in his office. What was happening? Here he was, incredibly nervous about a _student_. Student…that's what Sirius was. A troublesome student who needed a little help in DADA. That was all.

So then why did he feel excited before the 7th year Gryffindor class? Why did he wake up with the need to take a cold shower and only one person was on his mind?

He was disgusting himself, this was so wrong. But it was slightly understandable. Students of all ages and genders fell for Sirius Black, and Remus and Sirius weren't that far apart in age…only two years apart. And there was that little issue of the law. If anyone found out how he felt…

But he didn't feel that way. At all. The kid was good-looking…handsome…hot…sexy as hell.

Remus seriously considered stopping thinking altogether. It rarely ended well.

There was a quiet knock on the door. "What!?" Remus stood up in alarm and tried to slow his breathing. "I mean, come in." He muttered, entirely distracted.

Sirius stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. Was Remus imagining it or did Sirius lock the door as well?

"Mr. Black. Good to see you, what can I do for you?" Remus tried to keep a causal tone, but he felt it was obvious to Sirius that he was nervous.

He was right. Sirius could sense the teacher's nerves and thrived on it, causing the anxiety and the fear. He smirked unconsciously and walked towards the desk in the corner of the small office.

"Please, Professor, call me Sirius…I don't like thinking about the family name." Sirius saw the hesitance in Lupin's face.

"Fine." He looked away. Sirius was so…_sexy_ tonight. He had the uniform still on, haphazardly. The tie was loose and the robe was gone. The black hair hung around his face and his eyes were watching Lupin carefully.

Lupin stared at him for a moment, lost in those eyes. He was too absorbed in the eyes to see the smirk playing on the face beneath them.

"Remus?" Sirius asked innocently.

"Huh? What? Oh! Sorry, I went off there for a moment…well, what did you have questions about?" Remus coughed nervously, embarrassed at being caught. He didn't even notice Sirius' switch to his first name.

"Well, I was wondering about this blinding curse…for the paper?" Sirius started slowly, making it up quickly. He clearly wasn't going to _ask_ for actual help. That would be stupid. "It got me thinking, if we have to predict what curse someone is going to use based on looking at them or whatever, what do people do who are blind, from the curse or otherwise?"

Alright so it wasn't a brilliant question, but he needed something.

There was a silence as Remus starred down at his desk in thought. He finally looked up and smiled. "I have no clue." He laughed nervously, opening his arms. "Absolutely none. You've presented quite a quandary."

"Thanks Remus, I suppose." Sirius smiled and stood, walking around the desk. He leaned against it, staring down at Remus. The silence stretched.

"Please call me Professor…and don't look at me." Remus knew his wording sounded stupid, but he couldn't put into words the way Sirius' staring eyes made him feel. If he wanted to keep this job, he probably shouldn't try either.

"Don't look at you? Someone's bashful and I can't for the life of me see why." Sirius laughed and quickly reached down to Remus' chin and traced it with his finger, lifting his teacher's face to his own.

Remus stared up at his student, unable to take his eyes off the boy. "Thank you." He managed weakly, his voice low. He felt himself leaning into the hand which was now resting on the side of his face, slowly stroking his cheek.

Sirius continued staring at his teacher, mesmerized at the sight of him. He glanced down at the young professor's body and felt himself harden. Remus was nothing physically astonishing, but just the idea of being so close to touching him was enough to cause Sirius serious embarrassment.

He stood abruptly. "Thank you for your help." Sirius turned quickly to leave, Remus staring after in confusion. Sirius turned around at the door and flickered his earlier smile.

"_Professor_ _Remus_." With that he was gone, but Remus sighed, knowing that in 3 hours time when he was in bed Sirius and the entire scenario would return. Damn.

**That was painfully long, sorry I didn't split that into 2. Review please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Yo (still) tengo nada...got to love Spanglish!**

**Apparently I should have made this clear and those receiving oxygen to the brain already figured this out: this story is AU. **

Chapter 3

It happened less than a week after the 'study session?' with Sirius. Remus knew it would: he ran into Minerva McGonagall. He had tried to avoid her, but that was apparently futile. She questioned him excitedly about Sirius and the session, asking if it would be helpful to repeat it.

That left the door quite wide open for Remus, helpful for what? Giving his extremely perverted late night mind something to fantasize or bring up Sirius' grade? He struggled with his answer, including several 'ums' and 'Oh, I'm not sures'. He eventually escaped her questions thanks to the bell, but knew he'd have to think about it.

But the decision was made for him when McGonagall cornered him again, this time as Sirius' class was ending. Minerva was never a terribly good whisperer, and while none of the other students cared what she had to say to Professor Lupin, Sirius was extremely interested and walked past at the ideal moment.

"So, do you think Sirius would benefit from more tutoring? I know it would take a lot of your time, but I'm sure Dumbledore could—"

"No, that's not it…well you see, uh…" Remus hated how he couldn't form complete sentences when thinking about Sirius. But this was _different_, he reminded himself. This was because he thought the boy didn't need tutoring, nothing about what he felt for Sirius. (And those feelings were strictly…paternal? Platonic? He didn't know, but they sure as hell weren't romantic. Sirius was his _student_.)

"Professor Lupin, are you going to meet with me more? I'd really like that." Sirius jumped into the conversation, entirely innocent.

"OH! R-really, Sirius?" Remus' voice caught in his throat, making Sirius' name a high-pitched whisper. He glanced at the expectant face of Minerva, missing the smirk his voice had caused in Sirius. "Well, I'm sure I'd love to…you just…I'll send you an owl on what times will work."

Satisfied, Minerva left the classroom, leaving Remus and Sirius alone. Remus noticed this, being the clever person he was, and began to pack quickly. He felt a strong hand on his arm. Shocked, Remus froze and tried in vain to slow his breathing.

"Thank you, Remus." Sirius' lips brushed against his ear, the younger boy's hair tickling his neck. Sirius' grip tightened and he spoke again, huskier. "I owe you…anything you want to have?"

Remus felt his heart stop. He shook his head to clear his mind and looked up, where Sirius looked calm and innocent, no longer holding his arm. "Anything? Perhaps some Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans? Name your price, Remus."

Sirius winked, (or did Remus imagine it?), and left. This boy was going to be the death of him. This was his student, someone whose parents put him under his guidance for education. He was a teacher, a professional. But…

The age difference was minimal and unless Remus was mistaken, Sirius also appeared interested.

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Sirius was not interested. Was he? This was ridiculous. He just liked freaking his teacher out, and that's why he got so…excited about it. Nothing else.

He loved girls, probably too much in celibate Peter's opinion. And what about that? He wasn't celibate. Not technically, he had slept with some girls, (about 2) but he clearly wanted to be with girls. He came close with some girls. About twenty times. But what stopped him then?

He had tried to respect them…didn't want to move too fast. Didn't want to be responsible for children if there were consequences. He remembered each excuse, and knew they were complete bullocks. But why? He certainly wasn't one to want 'the first time to be special'. And technically his first time was with himself…that's not special, that's pathetic.

Maybe? No…NO! This was stupid. He was worrying about his feelings for his teacher? His male teacher…the male part bothered him much more than the teacher part. He could have cared less about the teacher part.

But Remus was male. He looked feminine though, but holding his arm…Remus clearly had some muscles under his robes. Remembering it made Sirius' mind wander to the dream…alright, dream_s_. But it was only a few times. Nothing he would wank off to…at least not daily anyway.

_What the hell was wrong with him_?!?! And other then being slightly freaked out at the concept….why didn't he mind that much?

Sirius put his head in his hands as he sat there in bed with the curtains drawn. Could he be interested in another man?

_Maybe_…

But he was only going to continue interaction to freak Remus out, _nothing else_.

**A/N: Short and sweet. Review please! **

**I won't be writing chapters until I'm out of school, but lucky for me I've already written up to half way through 6. So question for the future chapters (hypothetically, of course): In a cough 'sexual situation' between the 2 protagonists, who should top?**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry for the forever! How does "my computer crashed the exact same week I got out of the hospital." sound? Much better than "my dog ate my story", obviously. (My dog did, however, take a nasty chunk out of the neighbor...) Things should be coming quicker now, I really hope so. Plus I've got a few oneshots in my brain and new chapters for my GG fic, so things are looking up! Plus, according to the quacks at the hospital: "I'll be just fine." Which was followed by a "but..." and a list of drugs, procedures, and procautions. **

Chapter 4

Two weeks. Remus hadn't sent the owl and it had been two weeks. Why didn't he tell Sirius when to meet him?

Sirius didn't discuss the matter, but continued his behavior in class as if nothing had happened. Remus seemed to have relaxed, treating him like other students, except for the sarcastic comments.

But Sirius did change a little thing about class. He paid attention…to the professor. Not to what he was teaching, he knew he could steal the notes from Peter, but to the professor himself. Sirius watched him move around the classroom and watched him get confused and distracted by their eye contact.

It was actually pretty cute, and Sirius Black did not use words like 'cute' often. Remus would be talking and notice Sirius unconsciously licking his lips and scanning his teacher's body. Remus would blush and freeze up, internally debating whether to call Sirius on the inappropriateness of his actions.

(He had actually had a fantasy where he had called Sirius on the stares and Sirius had proclaimed his love for the professor, kicked the other students out, and had his way with Remus on the desk.)

But that was ridiculous, this was a stu—oh forget it. That argument was getting old, telling himself that would not help. But he still clung to it, as his stable post during this time. But he couldn't help it, Sirius was so…sexy. Remus threw his hands in the air to no one in particular (as he was alone in his office). He did _not_ just call a student sexy.

Okay, he did. But he shouldn't have. Remus felt so perverted, this entire situation was wrong. Completely. _What the hell was wrong with him_?

Remus was so lost in his thoughts, he missed the soft knocking at the door. But when it continued, he took notice.

"Oh yes! Come in!" Remus was slightly flustered at finally come back to reality, but that was nothing to how he felt when he saw who was standing in the doorway. "Sirius…" He trailed off weakly.

Sirius felt his confidence soar at the teacher's nerves: he was in his element. "Hello, Remus." His voice was lower than normal and his walk into the office was nothing short of seduction in motion. He chose to sit on the edge of Remus' desk on the side Remus was sitting at, in a way very similar to the way that he had been the other night.

This did not go unnoticed by Remus, who stood abruptly. 'Well, Sirius, I'm so sorry, but this really isn't a good time. I have an early class tomorr—"

"Stop." Sirius had grabbed his teacher's relatively well formed biceps and held him there.

"Ex-excuse me, Mr. Black?" Remus didn't trust himself in their close proximity. Sirius slowly stood until they were standing with their chests almost touching. Remus could feel the radiating heat of Sirius' body and felt his own he drain from his face, traveling south. He wanted nothing more than to lean forward to Sirius' lips and touch them softly with his own.

"Please call me Sirius, and don't avoid me. I just wanted to know when you wanted to schedule my next…tutoring session. Let me know this time, okay?" Sirius stepped back and walked around the desk. He looked…afraid, insecure?

"I've been really busy, you know, I haven't been avoiding you. I think you're being quite audacious to assume otherwise." Remus found his words difficult to form, but gathering strength he continued. "And I certainly want you to understand that this would be tutoring…simply tutoring. Alright?"

Sirius cocked his head and the corners of his mouth twitched…then he smiled…then he grinned…then he laughed. "Why, Remus, what on earth do you think is going to happen?"

Remus swallowed. The phrase was laced with innuendos, as was his mind (And Sirius' mind for that matter). "Nothing. That's exactly my point. Good night, Sirius." Remus sat back down to illustrate his point he was quite calm actually. Until Sirius growled.

A frustrated growl escaped from Sirius' throat, involuntarily. Sirius was mad at Remus for pushing him away and more mad at himself for wanting to be closer to his teacher, in every sense of the word.

But the growl did something for Remus, perhaps it was the wolf in him. He liked the sound of the frustrated animal in Sirius. When Remus went to speak he realized that his voice was a husky whisper. "Come tomorrow night, alright? We'll see what I can do for you."

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Sirius didn't know how his feet had carried him back to the dormitory. He didn't really care. Remus' parting words were fresh in his mind and he couldn't believe the teacher, it was as if Remus was trying to turn the tables of control.

He couldn't believe what was going on. Sirius was starting to fall for Remus. The man was beautiful and witty and so smart…and sexy as hell as far as Sirius was concerned. But what was he to do now? Could he really handle being alone with Remus for an extended period of time? Maybe he should cancel.

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But he didn't. Sirius wanted to go, so much it was sickening. He liked seeing Remus outside of the classroom, and getting him all "flustered". And he could deal with this, of course he could.

But dear God, he felt stupid because 1) he left early (and eager) to meet Remus, 2) had to go back to grab books, forgetting there was actual studying to be done, 3) got thirsty on the way and ended up bringing a bottle of butterbeer from the kitchens, 4) ended up being late, 5) was late because he paced outside in the hallway being nervous. There.

Sirius knocked on the door, sweaty palms balled into fists. He heard a voice as nervous as his hands answer, "Come in!" Sirius took a deep breath before entering.

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Unfortunately, Remus had also been thinking in the past 24 hours, pushing logic into his brain as often and as harshly as he could. He was stupid, this was stupid, Sirius was stupid, his feelings were stupid…yup, his _grand_ conclusion was stupidity.

Remus knew to get through the evening, he should ignore Sirius' antics. But Remus had a better (or worse, depending on which side of the brain he agreed with at the moment) idea: turn the tables. He liked making Sirius jump, he was too self-assured for his own good.

But no…logic won out in Remus' mind as it typically did. He would ignore Sirius, maybe be his friend or something. But anything else would be entirely unprofessional, Sirius probably only did those things to freak him out. Remus felt his stomach lurch in thinking Sirius didn't like him as anything more than a teacher. But he only felt that way because he didn't like to be used. Nothing else, right? He was not going back to _those_ types of feelings for other men.

Presently, there came a knock at the door, Remus jumped nervously and shouted, "Come in!"

**Thanks for all your patience, all of you! I know how attached I get to stories and to have one stop for what I see as no apparent reason sucks. **

**There was also a review asking if Remus was a werewolf in my story...I think I'll be able to do that!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Voila! Another chapter.**

**On a personal note, I feel terrible because I managed to break another heart, and he is/was a good friend of mine. SEE? This is why I love gay guys: no matter how many I'm friends with, none of them will ever ask me out.**

Chapter 5

Sirius poked his head around the corner into the office.

"Remus…hi." Sirius stepped all the way in. "I thought as a thank-you I should bring something to drink. Don't worry, its not alcohol. I wouldn't want to get you in trouble." Sirius smiled and held up the butterbeer and, before Remus could protest, produced to glasses and poured them.

"Hi….Sirius. So, what did you want to work on tonight?" Remus felt so anxious around Sirius and hated himself for it. He should have some sanity and control over his emotions.

"Oh, that. Well, I wanted to talk some too."

"I'm here to tutor, Sirius. What did you need help with?" Remus was surprised at the harshness of his voice, but he needed to get his point across to Sirius. Grudgingly, he took a sip.

"I know that, Remus. But still I thought I could talk to you for a little bit, unless you're afraid to converse with an inferior." Give Remus a guilt trip.

"You're not an inferior. You're…fine. Its just I wanted you to have time for questions."

"'Fine'? Oh, thanks Remus, that makes me feel special." Sirius laughed.

"Well, you are special. Very special…" Remus trailed off, regretting his words, but savoring the expression of shock and embarrassment that crossed Sirius face…which didn't last all that long.

"Am I now, Professor?" Sirius raised his glass slowly, watching Remus with a smoldering look that made Remus feel weak.

"Well, yes. So do you understand class right now? Is there any other subject that you need some help with?" Remus turned back to business as quickly as possible and could have sworn he saw disappointment on Sirius face.

"Yes, actually I have some trouble, let me get this out…" Sirius reached into the bag over his shoulder and pulled out a stack of papers, clumsily rolled up and tied together. As Sirius undid the tie, causing the papers to practically explode across the room.

Sirius sighed in frustration and Remus laughed loudly. "You know, Sirius, perhaps you should look into organizing that thing.

"Fine…fine. I'll just _Accio papers_!" Sirius waved his wand with a flare. The papers immediately shot of the floor and became, if possible, more disorganized, blinding both men as the room became a blur of white.

Suddenly, the papers settled.

"My God, you are terrible." Remus looked as though it pained him to hold in the laughter. "Apparently, Charms is the class you need the most help with."

Sirius growled and flushed slightly, but the growl was enough to make the werewolf harden. Something about it was very…primitive and animalistic. "Fine…help me then, Remus."

Remus swallowed and tried to speak a few times but would stop, afraid of what he might say. He was suddenly overcome with attraction to this embarrassed, almost shy boy in front of him. This was different from the Sirius he saw in class; this one was tender and sweet….so much more human…and sexy. Lord, that line of thinking has to stop!!

"Alright, um…you're not flicking the wand right, you're sort of swatting the air. Entirely wrong for the Summoning Spell. So you need to just, " Remus took a deep breath and walked around the desk, pulling his wand out. He positioned his hands and motioned for Sirius to follow suit. "Just hold it lightly and flick…"

Sirius starred at Remus, transfixed on the curious man before him. He was brought out of it when he heard his name.

"Sirius? Pay attention, stay with me. I really don't understand how you don't know this spell, its 5th year material isn't it?"

"Fourth." Sirius replied grudgingly…he was embarrassed and hated how he had lost control of the situation. "I _do_ know this spell, you know. I just slipped up a little."

Remus smiled. "Fine, then. Let's see it then."

Sirius took a deep breath and moved his arm awkwardly, shouting. "Accio papers!" They once again shot into the air and whirled around the two men finally settling again, still disorganized and slightly singed.

"It's your arm movement." Remus loved how it gave him an opportunity to stare at Sirius' arm through the robe and dress shirt. It wasn't a terribly revealing view, but he was able to look at Sirius' body at all, and that was enough.

Sirius turned and saw Remus staring, almost scanning his body. He felt his breath hitch as he thought of Remus. Damn, he hated this vulnerable feeling. Screw the "stop mind games" theory. It was time to go back to subtle seduction. Purely to mess with Remus, who was acting quite pompous right now, and deserved it.

"Alright, Remus, help me move my arms right. Stand behind me, then?" He could only smile as he turned his back to Remus and waited for the man to come behind him, but he began to frown when he heard nothing. "_Professor_? Are you going to help me?"

Remus was frozen in place, concentrating on anything gross, anything at all. Anything to take the heat away from his groin. The idea of being that close to Sirius was intoxicating. But he knew he'd have to do this, he was tutoring him technically. "Yes, of course…alright."

Remus came up behind Sirius who only had two inches or so on him. He wrapped his arms around Sirius, grasping the student's arms and standing as far away as this situation would allow. Sirius' skin was warm and smooth under his hands and Remus fought the urge to rub his hands over the skin.

"So, you raise your right hand, from the elbow…that's it. And then you're going to…umm. Let's see…" Remus felt Sirius shiver. He realized he'd been only inches from Sirius ear while giving these instructions and felt panic. The boy was obviously uncomfortable in the situation. Remus felt incredibly stupid.

Sirius was uncomfortable alright, embarrassingly so. He didn't understand why his teacher whispering instructions for a spell in his ear would cause this _particular_ reaction. Well, actually he did understand why, but this was not some young new female professor who wore her robes to short…this was a man. What the hell was wrong with him? Turn the tables, turn the tables…he needed to, or at least figure out why this was all happening to him.

Sirius attempted to even the score in this interaction and twisted his arms, pulling Remus closer to him. Whether by accident or on purpose, he began to stumble backwards onto Remus as a result. Any effort Remus had made to keep his lower region away from Sirius' back was thrown entirely out the window.

Remus felt his own back hit the wall, his arms had somehow moved that he was entirely embracing his student, his palms on the muscular chest. Oh, and to top it all off, Sirius' backside was pressed into Remus' erection and he knew there was no way to get himself out of this one. Unless Sirius didn't notice anything…

But Sirius noticed…absolutely _everything_ about the situation.

**Good old suspense! Hope you enjoyed it, review please!**

**A/N: O****n a personal note, I feel terrible because I managed to break another heart, and he is/was a good friend of mine. SEE? This is why I love gay guys: no matter how many I'm friends with, none of them will ever ask me out. wry smile**


	6. Chapter 6

**Drum roll The big fancy chapter. **

Chapter 6

Sirius felt Remus' arms wrapped around him and more importantly he felt a strong, hard warmth in his lower back…

Both stood awkwardly against the wall for a moment, Remus' breath tickling Sirius' ear. Sirius savored the situation, for two reasons. One, he knew that Remus couldn't deny anything anymore and seduction just got a whole lot easier and also he enjoyed the position. And two, with girls, he was always the one with his arms around her and considering his family life, Sirius never really had someone hold him like this. It was a very good feeling.

So Sirius began to formulate a quick plan to use this moment to his advantage. Sirius pressed his back into Remus slowly and could hear Remus, totally off-guard, make a noise very much like a moan. Sirius paused, only for a moment, then did it again.

Remus gasped and croaked out another regrettable moan. He tried so hard to stop them, but he was overwhelmed with the situation: Sirius, the pressure, the heat…

Remus tried desperately to keep his head clear and find a way out of the situation that he didn't want to find a way out of in the first place. He knew this was wrong and Sirius was–oh God! Sirius had pushed against him again and it felt so incredibly…good.

Whether it was an effort to make Sirius aware of the wrongness of the situation or it was a moment of passion as Sirius pressed against him, or a bizarre combination of the two, Remus said 'Sirius' in what came out as a seductive and lustful whisper.

Sirius gasped slightly at Remus' word (because he took the emission to be a moment of passion) and turned slightly to face Remus. Their bodies were still interlocked quite tightly and Sirius' turning pushed his hip into Remus' groin…which caused another moan as Remus leaned forward into the feeling bringing their faces within centimeters of the others.

"Remus…" Sirius glanced into Remus' eyes for only a moment as he brought his mouth down on Remus. He kissed him slowly, slightly confident.

Had he been thinking, Remus would have probably been thinking about the fact Sirius was his student. Remus would have probably been thinking about the fact they were in his office. Remus would have probably been thinking about the fact that he was supposed to be tutoring. Remus would have probably been thinking about the fact the door was unlocked. But he wasn't thinking. The kiss seemed to push all thought (especially rational) from his mind, and he suddenly felt a tongue at his lips and not only did he open his mouth to let it in, but pushed his own tongue against Sirius'.

The student and teacher both shifted slightly to put them in a position where Remus was with his back against the wall, his hands ghosting lower on Sirius' back, pushing them closer together…and put Sirius now facing his teacher with a hand in Remus' hair and the other skimming along the skin between Remus' trousers and the recently untucked shirt. Remus felt his skin burning with a passion which had gone unignited for years.

Remus hastily pulled Sirius' school shirt from his pants and dragged his hands to the front of Sirius' shirt, unbuttoning from the bottom up.

He couldn't believe himself, it felt like he was watching someone else pull Sirius' shirt off of him then run his hands over the toned chest. This was so wrong. Remus knew this in his head, but it was not his head he was thinking with as Sirius' hand rubbed along his inner thigh.

Sirius was in ecstasy, he couldn't believe this passion and arousal was caused by another guy. He needed more, he wanted to see more of Remus, wanted to hear another moan. Sirius pulled them off the wall and began to slowly step backwards towards the desk.

The teacher followed closely, pushing his student into the desk and falling onto it himself. Sirius cried out and Remus pushed onto his even more, bringing his hand between them to Sirius' crotch, running his hand over the heated bulge.

"Ow!" Sirius cried again. He had landed on a small figurine on Remus' desk. The figure was a small metal effigy of Dapon the Shrewd, the clever general of the War of 1345 whose use of bubbles to claim victory remains a mystery. The figure was holding up a wand that, when wound, would emit bubbles. Sirius grunted slightly at the pain from the 'bubble wand'. "My back…"

Remus pulled the student off the desk spinning him around to examine the back. There was a small blood bruise forming along the left shoulder blade. Remus hunted down his wand and flicked it quickly, helping to alleviate the pain.

"Thanks." Sirius' breathing was heavy as he turned around to his teacher, contorting his left arm to rub the small wound.

The two stared at each other for a moment, both minds racing, remembering what had happened moments before. Sirius stepped closer and Remus jumped back, turning away.

"Oh, for the love of…My God! What did I do?" Remus cried exasperatedly into his hands. "This is…how could I…" His mind was flooded with his actions, how had a tutoring lesson led to intense foreplay?

Sirius stood awkwardly next to him, then boldly moved forward and grasped his teacher's bare shoulder. "Remus…"

Remus whirled around and violently shrugged his shoulder. "No! You-you have to get out of here! Now!" Remus ran and grabbed Sirius' shirt and threw it at him. He pulled, buttoned, and zippered his own clothes back on properly at lightning speeds.

Sirius numbly caught his shirt, shoving it back on then turned to his papers on the floor and knelt to grab them as Remus was flying around the room in a near hysterical state.

"This is...you have to leave, now. I just...why did...how did I ...okay calm down, Remus..._Accio_ Sirius' papers!" Remus' spell worked and all Sirius' fallen papers flew to Remus. He quickly shoved them to Sirius along with Sirius' bag and pushed the startled student out the door, slamming it behind him.

Remus collapsed against the door and slid down slowly. The heat from his groin was all but gone, but Remus wanted it back. He couldn't get the images out of his head, no matter how hard he tried to think of how wrong the situation was.

He knew it couldn't happened again, he couldn't let it.

"I'm just going to forget about it." Remus spoke out loud. However, when Remus tried to shower that night or even later when he tried to fall asleep, it was _all_ he could think about. Damn that boy...that sexy boy...

**A/N: This took awhile...I am aware of that...and I'm sorry. hangs head in shame You happy? REVIEW!!!**

**Also, I need a favour. I'm American as much as I'd rather not be (my accent leaves much to be desired) I will be traveling to my mother's homeland in late August. So, if anyone is living in Scotland I would really apperciate a personal note sent my way as soon as possible. I doubt anyone can help with my father's homeland so there's no need to ask on that front. Thank you so much, really!**


	7. Chapter 7

**So my computer spell check isn't working and I'm too lazy to look stuff up my grammar books, so…Bring on the smut!**

Chapter 7

Sirius lay quietly in his bed some days later. He was frustrated at the entire situation. He liked knowing exactly what was going on and in this situation with Remus he had no clue. After their 'run-in', neither had made effort to arrange a tutoring session and Remus especially went out of his way to avoid eye contact with Sirius. It was unnerving.

Sirius had started to accept his interest in blokes, as hard as it was. He felt so stupid and weird, wishing he could talk to someone about how he felt…Gods, he was such a girl! But he internally refused point-blank to discuss anything with James or Peter…and Remus was avoiding him. He had to get Remus to talk…and maybe more.

Perhaps they could talk after class…oh right...class. Sirius sighed.

Today they were going out onto the grounds like some bloody Care of Magical Creatures class (which Peter oddly enjoyed) to look for…something. Sirius couldn't remember, but the point was the class would be held tonight because the…something was only safe at night…or dangerous at night... Sirius briefly considered paying attention, because he obviously had no clue what was going on in the class, but he had more important matters for the day involving the planning of a late night seduction.

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That night the DADA class was to start at 11 and Sirius refused to let the opportunity to slip away from him. It would be dark and the class would be spread across the grounds…with any luck he'd have Remus spread across his desk so Sirius could fu-. Sirius shook his head wildly, his black hair swirling around him. There was no point in getting excited prematurely. They would be out on the grounds in less than an hour.

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Remus shivered visibly as he stepped out onto the cold grounds, it was almost the Christmas holidays he thought absently. He pulled his cloak around him tightly and hurried to the cluster of students already gathered under a willow tree by the lake. Sirius was among them.

"Alright, alright. Quiet down." Remus' voice came out stronger than he had expected, his eyes flicking over every face but Sirius'. Remus, in hindsight, couldn't believe that he had let his animalistic desires take control of him. He was embarrassed and worried that he had given Sirius the wrong impression. He was thankful for the dark to hide his blush.

"Tonight we are searching out the herox, which is unique for what reason?" Remus spotted a girl towards the back, her hand tentatively raised. "Yes, Miss Donahue?"

Sirius felt himself drifting away from the lesson, he could hear a class discussion on the nocturnal herox plant, but was distracted by the way Remus' lips were parted slightly…He came back to when his peers began to move off in different directions, pulling out their notebooks and quills.

Remus started walking towards the lake, preferring to let the students learn a bit more independently. He found solace from the wind in the form of a willow tree (not the whomping one...). The ground was starting to feel frozen, but there was still an occasional patch of slick mud, so Remus stood.

"What in the world is the professor doing? Certainly not avoiding the students..." Sirius' smug voice made Remus start and turn.

_Just one._ He thought wryly. He was barely able to see Sirius clearly in the dark of night, something he was admittedly disappointed about. "You really should be focusing on the assignment, Sirius." His tone was surprisingly calm and firm.

"Remus I need to talk to you." Sirius held up his hand at the sudden stiffness in Remus' frame and his mouth opening to retort. "Not "we'll arrange it later". I need answers now." He started walking towards Remus and the sliver of the moon caught his face, throwing Sirius into a flattering and romantic light. Remus felt his stomach squirm.

"Sirius, this is highly inappropriate. I made a terrible mistake and I apologize. It was embarrassingly unprofessional and obviously played on your emotions. It was wrong and I'm so sorry." Remus took a breath. He was completely shocked by the words that had just come out of own his mouth. Not only were they well-formed and professionally unemotional, but they seemed to have an effect on Sirius, who had stopped moving forward.

"That's _not_ what I wanted to hear. Remus..." Sirius trailed off, biting his lip. He seemed to be on the verge of revealing the helpless youth hidden under his cocky, calloused exterior. "Just...talk to me, please."

Remus let out a breath...Sirius needed to talk and seeing as it was probably partly his fault, he owed Sirius that much, right? Of course. Remus cleared his throat, and with the voice of a teacher talking to a young child, said, "You can talk to me about anything, Sirius. I'm your teacher."

Sirius flinched and backed away, a mirthless laugh escaping his lips. "What the hell is wrong with you? _I'm not just a fucking student, Remus_. Unless that's what all your tutoring lessons are like."

A distant shout from the students echoed across the grounds, but Remus couldn't hear anything but Sirius' words ringing in his ears. He moved forward and tentatively put his hands on each of Sirius' strong biceps, subconsciously massaging them as he quietly spoke. "Sirius...Sirius, I want to help...I.. but what do you expect me to do here? I feel terrible but this just can't...be. You must understand that." He finished confidentally.

Sirius had stood watching Remus carefully, masking his emotions as Remus had stared straight ahead...into Sirius robe covered chest. But now as the 'speech' came to a close Sirius gently moved his head forward and slid one hand to Remus' neck and the other to his waist as he kissed the professor full on the mouth.

Remus reacted almost instantly, opening his mouth and pushing his tongue against Sirius' lips. He brought a hand to caress Sirius' face and mid-caress realized what he was doing. This was ten times more dangerous, he could get caught by all those students...who he was supposed to be teaching! What kind of desperate pervert had he become? Remus pulled out of the kiss and stepped back.

Unfortunately(or fortunately) he had stepped back into one of the remaining patches of mud, slipping as his feet flew forward. Sirius, who was leaning back into the kiss, reached his arms towards Remus to pull him closer. Sirius fell with Remus, but used his arms, now on either side of Remus, to brace his fall so he didn't squash the teacher...entirely.

Remus felt the wind knocked out of him as his head hit the cold ground. But after a moment his breath was missing for an all together different reason: Sirius. Sirius, who had landed atop his professor, has immediately picked up where they'd left off. His one arm stroking up and down Remus' side and the other moved to rest behind Remus' head, as a sort of pillow.

Remus didn't hold back, pushing his tongue back into Sirius' hot mouth. He felt another damn moan from himself as he pushed into the small of Sirius' back, leaving no room for imagination on how much the two were enjoying the activities. He pushed his other hand into Sirius' hair, pushing through it sensually as the other one drifted to rub Sirius' arse. The student moaned gratefully into his mouth, grinding into Remus and feeling his professor's hard length against his thigh.

"Oh! Sirius..." Remus mumbled as Sirius broke off the kiss and began to kiss down Remus' throat, his hands slipping quickly inside Remus' robes. Remus wriggled underneath the student in complete ecstasy. He hadn't felt this good, this _hard_, in years. It was incredible as Remus suddenly found his pants undone and a single finger rubbing him through his boxers. "Bloody tease..." He grunted.

"You...you need more?" Sirius whispered huskily in Remus' ear as the older man managed to slide one hand under Sirius' robes and across his chest to tease a nipple.

Remus threw this head back into the cold ground as Sirius' entire hand surrounded his boxer-covered length. "Yes!" He gasped, it was just so erotic that he was so hot and it was so cold. That thought brought logic back to Remus slowly as he recalled why he was outside. "Get off of me now! Oh God, I can't believe I...again, I...move Sirius!"

Sirius, shocked, pushed himself off his teacher, putting his clothes back in order. Remus was doing the same rather quickly with his own. "You have to get back to the group, fake the assignment, act like you've been working this whole...just go!" He hated himself for what he'd said, guiding a student into lying.

"Why? Embarrassed?" Sirius felt almost spiteful, he was now 'hot and bothered' and being shooed away from relief like a child.

"Bugger off!" Remus hissed, wishing blindly there was another door to shut in Sirius' face. But he couldn't exactly escape this one.

"Not without you." Sirius smirked.

"Sirius, this isn't funny! My career is on the line, we could get caught and-"

"Doing what, Remus?" Sirius stepped back towards his professor who was baffled by his question.

Remus shook his head. "What do you mean, 'what'? We were..." He gestured widely in front of himself and Sirius, as if explaining the problem.

"Say it." Sirius grabbed Remus quickly and stood with his face centimetres above Remus'.

"What?" Remus' eyes widened, almost fearful.

"Say it, Remus. What were we doing?" Sirius leaned towards Remus' ear, licking the shell, biting on the lobe. "Say it."

This would have been a the part where a responsible teacher would have stopped things. Oh, who the hell was Remus kidding? A responsible teacher wouldn't be in this situation in the first place, a responsible teacher would not be...attempting to explain it. "We were kissing..."

Sirius laughed softly into Remus' neck and moved his hands down slip back into Remus' robes and squeeze his arse, rubbing it over and over. He trailed his finger down the cleft of it, only slightly but it was enough to cause Remus to gasp and clutch onto Sirius for support.

"And...?"

Remus swallowed. _This is wrong, this is stupid. What the _fuck_ am I doing? I have no excuse for any of this behaviour, why can't I stop this..._"And we were going to...going..."

Sirius grinned and pulled Remus into a kiss, pushing open the older man's mouth and tickling it with his tongue. His hand moved from Remus' arse to Remus' erection and squeezed it, moving a finger or two back to flick at his balls, all of this through the boxers though. "We were going to fuck." He whispered when he pulled away, although unsure if Remus had heard him or not as the professor had taken that moment to let out a particularly lustful moan that sounded an awful lot like 'Sirius'.

Sirius stepped away and turned to the direction of his peers' voices. He couldn't see through the hanging branches of the willow tree, but made his way to the edge and turned back suddenly. "I'm feeling _off_ tonight, I think I'll go to Pomfrey's office. I hope I didn't get you 'off' too." Then much quieter. "Not yet, anyway."

And he was gone.

Remus stared and collapsed onto his knees...did Sirius just sit in his bed thinking of innuendos to use? But it was a fruitless path to question down because now Remus was stuck outside in the cold with 15 students, a painful hard-on, and the visual of Sirius in bed.

He spent a great deal of time considering if he should just wank and get rid of the erection or hurry back to attend to the students who he'd been sorely neglecting. In the end, his professionalism won out and he returned with his robes bunched awkwardly in the front.

**A/N: Hello, back in the states and back in school/hospital. How can I have 2 healthy months and then be sick again?!?! So sorry in advance for slow updates! Hope you like, review please!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A chapter for you all…**

Chapter 8

The Christmas season approached rapidly and Sirius felt himself a little happier. There was something comforting in knowing that he wouldn't be at home for the holidays that made everything just a bit more special. However, in the weeks leading up to the holiday, Sirius' life became a bit more...dramatic. James confronted him, which was awkward as hell and made him want to kill his best friend.

James had come back from Quidditch practise and showered, but before dropping into bed he wandered over to Sirius, who was bent over a Defense Against the Dark Arts essay.

James made an awkward affair of clearing his throat before addressing Sirius. "So...how's the essay?"

"Its impossible, I really have no bloody idea what I'm doing." Sirius chose to ignore all signs that were screaming James was leading into something.

"It's really weird that you don't understand Lupin's class. I mean, that's the one you pay attention in, yeah?" James failed at sounding casual.

Sirius bit his lip and adjusted himself. "Not really, you know I can't be arsed to care about school at all. I'm just trying to make sure I don't fail."

"Ask Lupin for help, he wou-"

"No." Sirius' voice was louder, but still calm. He coughed. "Nah, I don't feel like talking with a teacher on this one...or on anything for that matter." He looked up and gave a small smile.

Sirius had been avoiding Remus for the past few weeks, hoping that Remus would miss him and come find him. He knew it was foolish: Remus wouldn't act unless Sirius pushed him first, but Sirius figured they could both use a break from the tension. He was also secretly hoping to lure Remus into a false sense of security, seeing as he had no plans on stopping the...relationship? Still, Sirius couldn't help but stare at Remus during class, the man was just so natural at the board, sweeping his wand around the room, explaining concepts and creatures Sirius didn't care about. Unfortunately, the tosser missed about a week's worth of school so far this year so Sirius' oglingtime was limited.

"But you pay attention in Dark Arts." James persisted, bringing Sirius back to the conversation.

"No, I don't, James." Sirius said firmly. He closed his work and kneeled back on the bed, realising that there was a 'talk' that needed to be had.

"Yes, you do. I've seen you." James' voice was slightly shaky.

"Been watching me, have you?" Sirius spat.

"No! Well, I'm just worried about you, mate." James was blushing.

"Well stop. You aren't my fucking mother." Sirius growled, pulling himself off the bed and towards the showers.

"If I was _your _mother, I wouldn't be worried," James pointed out smugly. "And in any case, I _am _worried so you have to deal with that."

"And what exactly are you worried about Prongs?" Sirius had spun around. "What does your twisted mind think now?"

"You're queer." James said softly, almost reverently.

Sirius stood shell-shocked. He couldn't lie, but he didn't want anyone to know how he felt about other blokes...or just Remus, really. He didn't know how to respond, but his silence did it for him.

"Look its fine, Padfoot. As long as you aren't after me or something." James laughed nervously. "You should have mentioned it."

"It didn't exactly come up with you." Sirius muttered, then blushed at the out-of-place innuendo.

There was silence, it was almost comfortable. There were still questions hanging in the air, but Sirius didn't want to push them. James, however, did.

"So you fancy Lupin?" James questioned.

"Wh-WHAT?!" Sirius turned his fear at being discovered into anger in seconds.

"You pay attention in that class, and its apparently not to the lesson, so I'm assuming the professor." James shrugged, not at all put off by the outburst.

Sirius shook his head. "No, no. You're losing your mind, James. You're wrong. I'm not after the professor! That's sick, you're perverted."

"Fine, but I think-"

"I don't give a _fuck_ what you think or do so long as-"

"I saw you." James raised his voice to be heard over Sirius' rising one, which was instantly silenced by the claim. "Two months or so ago, on the map. When you came back to the dorms and claimed to have snogged some Ravenclaw girl to death. You looked like you'd been...doing that sort of thing, but the map showed you were at Lupin's office. With Lupin. And no one else."

_Shit. Why did I lie?_ There was a silence except for the wind howling through the cracks in the castle walls. Sirius remembered coming back from Remus' office that night and not expecting anyone to be in the dorm, so he didn't bother to flatten his hair or try to unwrinkled his clothes, he just wanted to get back and wank off the erection he held Remus fully responsible for. When James had been there, finishing up a Herbology essay, Sirius was at a loss for explanation.

"Tell me the truth, Sirius. I'm...you're friend." James finished weakly, trying to not sound at all like a nancy as he asked his best friend for details on his sexual relationship with another bloke.

"We never fucked." Sirius answered quietly. "...I just..." Sirius swallowed. This would most likely be the most embarrassing conversation of Sirius' life. "I just kissed him."

"And..." Why did James' persistencesound familiar?

"We were going to fuck." Sirius almost laughed at the irony of the conversation.

"Oh. But you didn't?" Sirius shook his head, ignoring the sound of relief in James' voice. "Alright good, glad that's out of your system. Um...I'm going home for Christmas this year. I sort of promised I'd stay, but-"

"I'm not a child so you don't need to watch over me." Sirius snapped. He hated pity and fussing.

"And I'm not your fucking mother, I know." James laughed and Sirius joined him. It seemed to clear the air and bring them out of evening's _delightful_ turn. Sirius was grateful James had stopped questioning, and he almost didn't care if it was respect or disgust.

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Remus was completely distraught. As the holidays approached, he couldn't help but think of the loneliness he would have to endure yet again. He felt utterly alone, sickened by the happiness that surrounded him and twice as guilty for being angry at the happiness. Worst of all, Remus knew he could share the holidays with someone. _No you can't. He's a student and what do you want him for? Conversation, hm? You want to take advantage of a confused student to take the edge off yourself, you horny bastard. _No, Remus' December was not fairing well at all.

He felt like an idiot, almost hoping that Sirius would approach him after classes. But every time that thought came back, he felt sick to his stomach, knowing how wrong it all was. Where was the professional man? The one who Dumbledore had bent over backwards to allow teaching in a world where he was normally a piece of shit? Remus was disappointed in himself and the guilt was almost overpowering. He walked the halls with less life than the ghosts. His classes were dull and Remus tried to avoid tutoring the students. He couldn't even hate Sirius for doing this to him, because Sirius was so on top of things and so...good. He was a good person and Remus knew he himself had been the problem.

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It was the last day of classes before the winter holiday and, as usual, the professors had virtually no control over their classrooms. Remus was trying to pass back essays he'd been unable to grade sooner (_"I'm terribly sorry, I was feeling under the weather...missing a bit of school."_)

There was the sound of Christmas music floating through the hallways, seeping into the rooms and the spirits of the students. Bits of conversation reached Sirius' ears…Peter was going to visit his ailing grandmother in St. Mungo's then onto vacationing in southern France. (Lucky bastard. _His_ relative was going to die.)

Remus was desperately trying to keep track of the papers, giving each student their paper, trying to talk over the excited pre-holiday talk, he looked completely worn out. He'd been worn out for a while. Sirius was actually concerned.

As the bell rang, students jumped from their seats and ran past poor Remus in an effort to start packing for the train leaving tomorrow. Too soon, the classroom was empty save Sirius and his teacher.

"_Accio papers_!" Sirius swung his wand around the room and the papers the students had carelessly not taken from Remus piled themselves neatly on Sirius' outstretched left hand.

Remus looked up from the desk he had collapsed in after the students left, his eyes wide. "Thank you." He said weakly.

Sirius shrugged. "It's about time that I got that spell down, anyway. You okay?" Sirius absently shuffled the already neat papers.

"Yes, yes. I'm fine; I just forgot how crazy the last day before holiday is." Remus stood and smiled, his hand reaching out for the papers. "I suppose I'll return these after break, then? Do you want yours now?"

"Sure." The silence following wasn't too awkward as Remus kept shuffling through the pieces of parchment. "So, you are leaving for the holidays tomorrow?"

Remus shook his head, smiling slightly, as he continued to pull out sheets with Sirius' messy scrawl on them. "No, I don't really have anyone to go home to, my mother died almost three years ago."

"Lucky." Sirius muttered, out of habit.

Remus looked up, surprised and defensive. His voice sounded like he was struggling not to jump to conclusions and punch Sirius. "What?"

"Oh! No, I mean that's really tragic for you, losing your mother. But I hope she had a good long life and was a good person and—"

"She was. She was one of the best people I knew." Remus sounded wistful, but still defensive.

Sirius nodded. "Sorry, I'm just not used to mothers being the kind of people you miss. I don't think of family as anything more than the people I'm going to inherit corrupted money from when they finally bite it."

Remus starred at him, not even lustfully, but a concerned, shocked look in his watering eyes. "I'm…so sorry you feel that way about your family." There was a question in his comfort because Remus wanted to know how someone could feel that way about family.

"I'm a Black, you know." Sirius waited for that to sink in. Remus nodded blindly. "They're all selfish and prejudice, think they're better than everyone else, you know. Including their rebellious, Gryffindor offspring. But it doesn't matter, I'll be out of there soon, so they'll physically be out of my life, anyway. Now if there's someway to work on erasing the mental torture, we'd be all set." Sirius laughed easily, but it died when he looked up at Remus' expression. The student had been talking mostly to the floor.

Remus starred at him, seeming to grasp that it was much harder than Sirius had properly let on. Without a thought, Remus reached forward, embracing Sirius.

Sirius was frozen on the spot. He tentatively lifted his hands to Remus' back and pulled them together. He could smell Remus and willed himself not to get hard and ruin the moment. They stood still for seconds, minutes, hours—who the devil knows? Upon pulling apart, Remus blushed and reached behind him for Sirius' papers. "Here you are, Sirius. You're not exactly topping the class, but you're managing. Its good work."

Sirius took the papers, pushing them into the black folds of his bags. He moved past Remus towards the door, but stopped. "Remus?"

A quiet voice. "Y-yes?"

"Are you celebrating the end of term, even though you aren't leaving?"

"Well, I've got a good book and plenty of time to rest, so I think so." He laughed lightly.

"Would it be alright if I brought some butterbeer to your office tonight? To talk, celebrate? My friends have their time split between packing and kissing their _beloved_ ladies farewell." Sirius mocked kindly.

"Oh. Um, I think so. Sure. Eight o'clock?" Remus was distracted from the conversation. The thoughts of spending evening time with Sirius that didn't require tutoring somehow took over his common sense.

Sirius beamed (as much as a rebel badass lets himself). "Eight it is, thank you."

"Right." Remus whispered to no one in particular in the now empty classroom. He was bonding with Sirius. Was this a date? _You're pathetic, you really are. The poor boy needs someone to talk to, his family is obviously the worst thing in the world and you were supportive. Let's not shag him until he shares his feelings, okay?_

"I don't want to shag him." Remus spoke again to no one but himself. "It'll be fine. Nothing is going to happen. He's gotten over everything with me, it's been weeks." Even as he said it, Remus felt a twinge in his stomach. He hated it because he knew what it meant. Apparently, his inner voice did too.

_You don't want him to be over you, because you are not over him. _

"Its not like I'm obsessed. It was just a fancy, lust. Irresponsible, but fleeting feelings. Nothing romantic…"

_Denial._

"How can I like him if I don't know anything about him? Am I in love with his body? How shallow!" And Remus froze. He was shallow. He barely knew anything about this boy he had seduced and destroyed the innocence of. (Alright, maybe Sirius Black wasn't that innocent.) Remus resolved to use this evening to get to know him. His pupil obviously had a lot of issues to deal with, and he wanted to be supportive. Sirius needed a friend and Remus would be one. Even if that means he had to hex his bollocks off to keep himself in 'friend mode'.

**The Longest Flipping A/N Ever:**

**So I'll drawing a blank on this story. Which completely sucks. And my health is…not healthy. Which completely sucks more. How can I even sit in front of a computer to write ideas when I can't do anything?**

**Review and be patient. I'm serious about the review part. It actually doesn't matter to me if you're patient or not, you could sit in front of your computer and refresh your email until we're out of Iraq and it wouldn't affect me one bit. The patience bit is totally for you. cheeky grin(My cousin is going to back to the Middle East…Iran next week. Holy or happy thoughts if you please.)**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Hi! So I'm going to be writing and working on this story so much more. It is okay to get invested in the plot; it will actually be worked on! My health has been a real bitch, of course it didn't help I dislocated my kneecap randomly, but you know what helps? Lots of reviews! **

Chapter 9

Sirius had a date. Date…ish? A bonding experience with _Professor_ Remus. It was absurd and amazing all at once. Sirius' mind was flying with the returning possibility of romance, he so desperately needed it.

James was packing for this holiday with his parents, skipping around the room listening to Christmas music from the Naughty Elves. They weren't half bad, Sirius thought absently. He wanted to see Remus so badly, but he was worried that somehow things would be ruined.

He'd really become a wanker, come to think of it. Flirty and adorable, of course. But a wanker none the less. Constantly pushing Lupin to the edge. The poor man was trying to maintain his job, after all. It wasn't fair.

But it was unfair for Sirius too! He was so upset, so confused. Thinking about Remus physically hurt. He felt this sick feeling in his stomach every time he remembered he felt that way about another bloke. He was generally okay with it, and James had decided that one heart-to-heart was all they needed for a good long while and treated Sirius normally. But there was this horny, teenage part of him who wanted sex and was so frustrated about how abnormal his choice of lust objects was.

As the lights faded around the castle, Sirius sat bored out of his mind in the common room. James and the others had left hours ago and the castle was quiet and empty. At quarter to eight, Sirius made his way to the kitchens and easily swiped a bottle of butterbeer. He shivered as he walked to Lupin's office. Despite the magic in the castle, it somehow managed to never be insulated properly. Pulling his cloak around himself, Sirius rapped on the door.

Remus appeared almost instantly, as if he'd been waiting just on the inside. "Hello, Sirius." He was smiling, but it looked like it was killing him.

Sirius bowed his head. He couldn't do this to the man. Hating the tear-driven brightness of his eyes, Sirius looked back up. 'I'm sorry, Professor. I shouldn't have come, this isn't fair."

He numbly handed the bottle to Remus and stumbled back a little, slowly turning away. He was so lost in his own mind with his misery; he almost didn't hear Lupin's voice.

"Sirius? Wait! Come back here." The soft sound of footsteps hurrying after him was comforting. Suddenly a hand was on his shoulder. "What's wrong? Are you alright?"

No one asked Sirius questions like that. Sirius turned and felt his knees weaken. The man truly turned his world upside down, and Sirius didn't seem to find himself minding. He slowly leaned forward, kissing Remus quickly on the lips. Pulling back, Sirius kept his eyes shut and winced as he played over in his mind what he'd done.

"Oh God, that was a worse mistake than coming, Remus. I'm really sorry. Again." Sirius made to move away but Remus was dragged him back towards his office and shutting the door behind them.

He turned and looked at Sirius. "Now, why do you think it was a mistake to be here?"

Sirius bowed his head, was Remus trying to humiliate him? Fine, let him push: but Sirius was going to push back. "Because I can't go two minutes without trying to make a move on you. My God, why do you need to test me like this? Can't you just let me screw up and wander back to my dorm to be alone in misery?"

"No." Remus' answer was quick and very sure. "I can't leave you alone in your misery, because I think I caused it."

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Sirius just stared and Remus began to feel nervous. "Well, obviously I didn't cause all of it. You hinted at family problems…but I believe I must hold some responsibilities for the chaos in your life." Remus let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. He couldn't believe he'd said it all so articulately.

"I s'pose." Sirius muttered.

Remus felt a pang of guilt at the admittance, but somehow happy it had happened anyway. "Okay. Just please tell me what I can do to fix this."

'Fix _what_?" Sirius blurted. "You can't just turn off whatever this is. Nothing can be erased or forgotten from this situation. I hope you didn't have delusions of grandeur here."

Remus shook his head and protested. "No I just meant, I've caused you pain. I thought we could talk about it?"

Sirius sneered. "Last time we "talked" it didn't exactly end the way the Hogwarts regulations say it should. So sharing our feelings might not be the best idea you've had."

Remus threw up his hands and sighed. "Okay…you brought drinks. Let's just forget and celebrate the end of the term, hmm? I want to hear about your life."

Sirius laughed timidly. "That's just another way of trying to get me to share my feelings, Lupin."

Remus shrugged and picked up the bottle he'd left on his desk when following Sirius. He led Sirius to a sitting room quite different from the office. The warmth and homeliness doubled with the burning fire and overstuffed sofa. They carefully chose to sit facing each other at the opposite ends of the sofa.

Remus handed Sirius a glass with butterbeer and turned expectantly. 'So, what's going on in your life?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and smiled. "I'm spending Christmas at the castle, which is nice. Last year there was a funeral for my grandfather who included a clause in his will about all his grandchildren singing some dirge together. It was a bloody nightmare, for a while, that is."

Remus noticed a satisfied smirk in Sirius' eyes. "Really? What did you do?"

Sirius took a mocked, offended look. "What? I can't believe you'd think I caused a problem." Remus held a blank stare. "Well, fine. But in my defense he was a complete bigot and deserved it…and not all the turtles died!"

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An hour became two, then three. The two got along and Sirius was surprised to find an actual friendship between them. Of course, every time Remus glanced into the fire, even for a moment, Sirius found himself longing to stare and dream of kissing him. But other than _that_, everything was completely platonic.

Sirius finished a laugh after hearing a joke from Remus and decides they needed to use words that mattered. Stop pussy-footing around the issues. "Remus? When did you know you were queer?"

Remus felt his heart plummet into his stomach and almost retched. He looked up at Sirius, not a snobby boy who knows how attractive he is, but a terrified teenager not at all sure what to do with himself. "Umm…it took awhile, actually. I was quite comfortable in the closet."

Sirius gave a relieved and good-natured snort. "So when did it hit you, I mean, when did you think it wasn't just some weird...fluke?" Remus could tell the questions were coming from Sirius trying to make sense of his own experience, but it was still a lot to open up about.

"Well, I was a Prefect at Hogwarts and I sort of became friends with a boy that no one really liked. There were jokes behind his back but I ignored them since I got to know him whilst roaming the halls as Prefects." Remus swallowed. This was much harder to think about than he'd originally thought. "So one time our Charms teacher was prowling the halls. A real terrible woman. We were technically allowed out of bed as Prefects but we didn't want to see her so we ended up in a broom cupboard and he sort of…kissed me."

Sirius gave a small smile. "Just like that?"

Remus nodded. "Essentially."

"Did you two get together? Properly, I mean?" Sirius' eyes, Remus noted, were wide. As if he hoped that perhaps if Remus had found a fairytale, he might too.

"Err. No. I mean, there was a brief period in which we…err…sought each other out." Remus blushed and starred into his lap, missing Sirius' knowing grin. "But it ended shortly after."

Sirius' smile fell as he noted Remus' watery eyes. "Why did it end?"

Remus glanced up and flashed a bitter smile. "He just got tired of our…conversations."

"Fights?" Sirius tried to interpret.

"Well, in a sense. I just wasn't willing to share everything, so we went around in circles a lot. It got frustrating, for both of us." There was a pause. Remus did not have any desire to talk about his heartbreak any longer. The subject was in desperate need of changing. "So, come on. What made you realise?"

Sirius stared with a face that can only mean _Are you serious?_. Remus didn't quite get it. But suddenly the events of the year thus far come flooding back and he remembered that he awakened this painful awareness within Sirius. He felt guilty and stupid and beyond grateful that Sirius finds it funny.

Sirius couldn't help but to laugh. He laughed in a really, truly happy way. Remus couldn't help but to crack a smile and follow suit. "Remus, did you mentally check out for the past 4 months? Or are you using denial now?"

Remus waved his arms in the negative, still holding a nearly empty glass of butterbeer, his eyes wide. "No! I…I didn't mean it like that, I was simply-oh!" A decent amount of the remaining butterbeer sloshed over the edge, onto the carpet. "Oh, damn."

Sirius jumped to help. He put his own glass on the table and leaned over Remus' legs to blot at the spill with a napkin.

"Sirius, you don't have to…here, let me." Remus bent his head and moved his legs to the side to reach the rapidly dampening spot. It occurred to him that it was refreshing for a boy from such a rich family to be willing to do any physical labour.

The adjustment of the legs put nothing but space in between them and their faces quite close. Sirius flushed and Remus couldn't find him more adorable. And then the space was starting to close. Neither stopped it.

**Come on, review! You know you want to…**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: See?!? I've updated in a reasonably amount of time. Aren't you proud?**

Sirius' lips were soft and absolutely perfect. It didn't feel entirely physical to Remus anymore, it seemed as though there was a legitimate connection. He leaned down farther to push Sirius' head back slightly: Sirius happily obliged.

Sirius leaned onto his hands, easing onto his forearms to allow Remus to follow him down to the floor. He was in heaven; Remus was a wonderful warm weight pressing down on top of him, kissing him as though his life depended on it. The friction of the warm robes and warm breath was overwhelming and Sirius let out a whimper and felt Remus' passionate reaction press more urgently against him.

There were buttons coming undone and Remus was rapidly moving his mouth down Sirius' neck, sucking and kissing. Simply riding the high of the moment, being here with Sirius. Sirius, whose hands slid from his arse and made their way to his hair. He gripped clumsily, holding on for dear life. He was so lost but so close. Remus was instigating this, as he had wanted all along, but Sirius was utterly terrified and had never felt more embarrassed.

He pulled Remus up to him, kissing his teacher firmly. His nerves were physically hurting him; Remus seemed to notice and pulled back slightly. Remus starred down with those beautiful brown eyes and his face flushed with passion, breathing heavily. "What's wrong?" He whispered, and it seemed to Sirius that Remus was similarly terrified although perhaps with different reasons.

Sirius swallowed audibly and spoke. "I don't know what...what to do here. I have no idea what's happening." He absently rubbed his hands over Remus' shoulder and neck, trying not to sound as unsure as he was. "Help me..." he murmured into Remus' clean white shirt.

Remus began to pull away. "Sirius, this is too much...I think now would be a good time to stop and--"

"No!" Sirius let out a hoarse cry, struggling to pull Remus towards him. "Please, let's keep going. Don't stop me now. I'm fine."

"Sirius, this is getting completely out of hand. I'm obviously causing more harm than good here." Remus was nervous but reluctantly happy to have a good excuse to back away. Sirius' nerves made him realise what exactly he was doing to the boy. It would almost be rape, definitely an abuse of power. And privately he knew that his own secrets would prevent it from ever working and he wasn't ready to take his passion for his student higher only to feel it come crashing back down.

"Please, why not?" Sirius pleaded his lust diminishing and his stubbornness shining through. Remus winced and stood, brushing himself off as he did.

"Sirius, I'd be breaking every rule. I love teaching, I couldn't lose that!"

"So you'd rather lose me?"

Remus sighed, he'd set himself up for that one. He spoke slowly. "Sirius, I never _had_ you. You have always been off-limits and I should have stopped this, prevented my emotions from getting in the--"

"Emotions? You feel something for me, don't you? Don't you?!?" Sirius seemed almost hysterical in his unwillingness to drop the issue.

"Of course, I feel something for you!" Remus snapped, "Obviously I want there to be something, but nothing would work! With or without my status as your teacher--"

"How do you know we wouldn't work? We get along perfectly...I can't stop...thin-thinking..." Sirius drifted off, a flush running to his face. He was too proud and much too afraid of rejection to finish that thought.

Remus felt a pang in his chest at the words of his student. He wanted this so much, and everything was coming down against him. Life isn't fair, he thought bitterly. This is completely the opposite of what I want to happen. "It wouldn't work, the reasons don't even matter, Sirius. We just need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and understand that things aren't going to go in our favour."

"Yes, I'm quite used to that, thanks. I'm not the sort of child that enjoyed being spoiled to death, you know. I don't expect everything on a silver platter. I don't know what you think of my family but I'm not one of their lit--"

'Sirius, I don't think you are just a puppet there, I know that! I know you aren't spoiled, but you are expecting this relationship to go somewhere that it simply cannot go. You need to except this and _move on_. Yeah, I know it hurts. But we. Can't. Do. This...please."

Sirius starred at Remus, with a look in his eyes that made Remus want to go and kiss the boy senseless, that perhaps more. "When you aren't my teacher anymore, would this work?"

Sirius was bargaining. Remus felt the desire to give this to him, but knew that Sirius would pursue this as the school year ended, and neither of them deserved the end that would invariably come with the discovery of Remus' secret. He sighed.

"Err, maybe. I'm not sure. You'll probably get a better offer." Sirius stepped closer and didn't respond to the ill-placed joke. 'I mean, you are quite the catch, Sirius. Don't give away your heart just yet."

Sirius pressed Remus up against the wall, nodding to Remus' words in an almost mocking fashion. "Hmm...you know for all the ways you have authority over me, _Professor_, I don't think deciding my love life is one of them. So sorry." And with that, their lips pressed against each other and Remus frantically tried to stop everything from happening.

He gently tried to pry himself away from Sirius, pulling back until his back hit the wall. Unfortunately, Sirius followed with a mixture of desire and desperation that broke Remus' heart. "No...we can't do this. Sirius! I already said to stop! Please, STOP!"

Sirius pulled back reluctantly, keeping one hand on Remus' hips, the other coursing through his messy hair. They both stood still, feeling the heavy breathing on their faces, nervous to make any move forwards or backwards. Sirius finally took a deep breath and tried to ignore the burning blush in his face as he spoke.

"I want you. I know it seems mad but this is what I want. That's all there is to it." There was a blaring silence that followed. Remus didn't know what to say, he had nothing left. Sirius wanted this no matter how many times they went through the rules. Remus dragged to the forefront of his mind the most serious reason that Sirius deserved someone better. He hadn't wanted to use this, but he needed this to stop, for the sake of his career and general sanity. (Although sharing this information with Sirius might end both.)

"Sirius...you can't date me, you wouldn't want to if you got to know me." Remus spoke quietly and winced as he saw the immediate reaction of stubbornness cross Sirius' face.

"What's there to know?" Sirius folded his arms and huffed impatiently.

Remus looked down than back up into Sirius' scared eyes. He barely could hear the words he spoke. 'Can you keep secrets? Important things, life or death things?"

It really didn't matter what Sirius said at this point, Remus realised. He was in far too deep to pull out and pretend the whole conversation and passionate evening had ever happened.

Sirius unconsciously took a step back. "Yeah, er yes. Yes, I can, Remus."

With a defensive and bitter tone, Remus let the words fall out of his mouth. "I'm a werewolf."

Another step back. "Oh...no..." Sirius was shaking his head and Remus felt sick.

**Another cliffhanger, I'm evil! I've got finals this week, so the update might take another week, but no more than that!**

**Please review, it fuels my drive to write!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey, I kept a promise to you guys (sorta)! More plot and whatnot!**

"I've been this way for years. Happened when I was 7...look, the Headmaster knows and I take procautions so no one's safety is at risk, alright? Just relationships can't work. I _am_ dangerous at certain times, and my life is this." Remus quickly mumbled through a vaguely practiced speech.

Sirius looked up, his eyes wet and his whole body fidgeting. "So...you have the full moon transfe-. Er, you have to be…locked up, once a month? You get all" Sirius gestured wildly. "Violent? And...are you dangerous now? How are you allowed in...Hogwarts?"

Remus felt a stab to his core at the comment about "being allowed". He was well-aware of the prejudice from pure-blood families and knew that Sirius might not think he deserved to even walk on his hind legs. But all considered, it did not appear that Sirius was going to use this against him. "I'm fine on all but the...the day of the full moon. I go to an underground room...so I am locked in and everyone is safe. There's a potion to help keep werewolves calm, and that works okay...just don't say a word? I'm allowed to be here, but I know a lot of people wouldn't respond too kindly to learning that a professor is a monster, so to speak."

Sirius pulled his eyes up from the strand of his shirt his hands were tugging. "No, not a monster. I mean, you're fine right now, yeah? So what's the problem? I'm not like my family, you know, I think you should be free...or whatever."

Remus nodded numbly. "Alright, thank you, Sirius. So, you should probably go back to your dorm now. I'm sorry for all of this, but I thought we needed to sort this out. So yes: I do...have an interest in you, but that is so unimportant next to my being a...werewolf. Alright? Thank you for understanding all of this."

Sirius felt his mind going a mile a minute, he felt light-headed and deeply confused. The half-breeds his parents spoke of were nothing like Remus. It's almost as if there were two different types of werewolves. Impossible that such an attractive and intelligent man could be what his parents had depicted for years. Sirius turned and walked out of the room, towards the door to the office and then the hall.

It was a hour later when Sirius realised he was lying in bed in a silent dorm, he was so preoccupied he didn't even remember getting there. Sirius' whizzing mind let one clear idea rise to the surface: he would be doing a lot of research about werewolves over break.

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Apparently the library had a lot of books. Who knew? Sirius had spent a good portion of the day sitting amongst the books, sneezing from the dust. He'd woke up this morning and remembered that the man he was falling in love with happened to be not entirely human. He'd had nightmares of Remus biting him during a 'snog' session. Even when awake, those thoughts came to mind. He couldn't get out of bed, frozen with the violent images swirling in his mind. Suddenly, Sirius felt compelled out of bed to push his head into the toilet as the waves of sickness hit him.

Now sitting in the library, Sirius couldn't make sense of anything. The half-breeds were definitely not writing the books about them, which made sense seeing as the books described them as no longer human. But Remus was still incredibly smart and articulate; he was all human. Ignoring the randy inner voice adding "_and all man_", Sirius picked up yet another text to figure it out.

So the day of the full moon the werewolf is restless and "hormonal" according to the book, which also describes the likelihood of rape and attack on innocents. Sirius almost laughed at that because if Remus had ever made his desire known, it would definitely be a consensual bliss-filled day. The day after the "transformation" was exhausting and most werewolves healed rather quickly due to their above par "powers". Sirius couldn't help but notice all the books described werewolves as not remotely human. There didn't seem to be any argument from a werewolf or in favour of their rights. It confused Sirius; surely Remus was not alone as a strong and intelligent werewolf? Shouldn't they assist in defining themselves for the wizarding community?

Partly because he was falling in love with a werewolf and partly because the books said exactly what he parents would, but Sirius didn't find the texts entirely credible. He wanted better information, and he supposed that Remus would be the most likely source for reliable information. But it made him nervous, spending time with Remus, he realised now how incredibly naive he'd been to think he knew everything about his professor and could somehow win him over.

Now it seemed that the most logical course of action was to take his questions to the source: face Remus.

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Remus spent the day after the incident with Sirius pacing his room, taking swigs of the bourbon he kept in a desk drawer. He couldn't help wonder what had come over him to make him spill that kind of a secret on a student he barely knew. Last night had given him lots to think about, to understand. Who knew under that fantastic body was a really good person with a heart and with a unique view of life? Remus felt slightly frustrated that he hadn't investigated who Sirius was as a person sooner than he did.

But now he'd botched it all up, which let's face it: it was already doomed from the start. But his job was on the line now and Remus spent the entire day in solitude in his rooms, hoping somehow that if he didn't leave he couldn't get fired when Sirius talked.

And Sirius would talk, of course. Could Remus really blame him? It was a safety issue, how was Sirius supposed to know about all the extra precautions that Remus took? It probably would be fair for students to know, as far as Sirius must consider the situation. Ironically, Remus thought, him being fired would remove the teaching job from the equation of his affair with Sirius. A very bitter irony, because it wasn't as though Sirius would be interested in dating an unemployed half-breed. Remus surely would not want to.

But did he even want to see Sirius? At this point, Remus was quite sure that everything in his life was over but he had to consider if there was the tiniest hope that Sirius still felt attracted towards him. And he realised he quiet felt a similar sentiment if that was the case.

Why did he still feel so deeply attracted towards this student? Why didn't it bother him as much that this was a complete breech between the lines of student and teacher relationships? Why did he decide to start falling for anyone, and let anyone in to his secret? And rather importantly, why had he just now heard a quiet knock on office door.

**AN: Thanks for all the reviewing, it makes me really happy. Keep it up please, and I'll try to keep posting for this story quickly-ish. But I don't like to simply post any little fragment I write out, so patience! I love feedback! **

**On the subject of remaining patient: anyone with a cure to my rare, crippling disease?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Explanation for tardiness below. **

Remus stumbled slightly on his way to the door, not from bourbon but from nerves. Sirius stood on the other side, his eyes wide and expectant. He seemed older, more tired. He looked Remus up and down rather obviously, and Remus knew it wasn't any lust driving the intense study of his professor this time. It was as though he was trying to see the creature underneath. Remus was quite used to that look.

"Yes, Sirius?" The words were choked and harsh, Remus wasn't sure what kind of defense he needed.

Sirius blindly followed him into the office, as if he'd never been there. He get glancing around, as if looking for clues that Remus was a violent killer, that he should see signs of it. He shakily held up a piece of parchment, slightly crumbled. "Can we sit?" Sirius mumbled to the floor.

Remus nodded mutely. He stepped back and gestured for Sirius to move forward. It was a handy move because it gave Sirius the opportunity to sit across from Remus' desk or to move into his personal quarters. Remus felt himself swell with a relief he couldn't describe when Sirius made his way towards the hidden door to Remus' living quarters.

Seated, Sirius turned to Remus who was on the opposing chair. He nervously pulled out his paper and began to read from it, each word carefully pronounced, almost mechanical. "Do werewolves have animalistic urges turning the other 27 days of the lunar cycle?"

Remus stared and realised he was now expected to respond, like some kind of a question and answer session. He dumbly shook his head, the word 'no' sort of tumbling out of him. Sirius nodded and made a mark with his quill.

"Do werewolves enjoy the taste of human blood?" Sirius kept his eyes on his parchment with the questions, and Remus was thankful as his eyes widened comically.

"Er, not that I have ever experienced. Certainly not a fellow human." Remus made sure to imply that he was human too. All the time too, not simply when he looked it.

"Alright. Do werewolves risk dying from a silver bullet or hurting their mate in jealousy?"

Remus noticed instantly that the question that Sirius most wanted to ask was combined with another. Perhaps Sirius was still interested in him. But Remus's brain stopped him and logically pointed out that the boy was simply afraid his professor would now never let him go. Remus cleared his throat.

"I-I know that the silver bullet doesn't work to kill them...us. If it did, I'm sure that the Ministry would have gotten rid of us before reaching my age. And, er. I don't think the jealously would...overtake us more than anyone else. Also, we don't exactly mate for life, just whomever we want really." Remus sighed. That was a damn good response, if he did say so himself.

"Who do you want?" Sirius asked quietly.

Remus felt a blush, and looked down. "Oh. Well, I know you've obviously been doing your, er, research on me being a werewolf. So I think my opinion is rather, er, irrelevant."

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Sirius wasn't buying the odd answer, but he chose to ignore it. "I have been researching. Do you not think the material is biased? All the literature seems to believe you to be completely inhuman."

Remus smiled and Sirius felt like his comment made him see naive and uneducated. "Well, of course it is biased. It isn't as thought they are going to let us speak on the subject. You know, not all werewolves make a stable life for themselves like I have done. Many are impoverished, criminals, and just complete messes. It is tragic, but it has made me much more grateful for the things I have been able to achieve in my life."

Sirius's face turned into an embarrassed frown. "Things like becoming a successful professor?" And suddenly Sirius seemed to understand why Remus couldn't risk a relationship.

"Yes, well, that is something I'm quite happy to have. Not everyone is going to hire someone who grows fangs once a month."

"I'm so sorry." Sirius felt humiliated. "I'm sorry you have this happen to you. I'm sorry your student won't leave you alone. I suppose I just...just wanted to really part of something. My friends are always busy with their love lives and I'm certainly not close to my family. But I shouldn't have put all of this on you, I wish I'd known what this was risking for you."

Remus smiled bitterly and Sirius detected a watery sheen in his eyes. "Thank you, Sirius. Thank you so much for how you've taken this. And I'm sorry. I never meant to scare you with my...identity. Didn't mean to confuse you so much either. I think it has simply been quite a while for me because of this werewolf business and you were just, erm, convenient."

Sirius smirked then stood in mock offense. "Convenient?!?" He cried, his eyes dancing with humour, "I always suspected I was just a body for you. Granted, a really fit one..."

Remus smiled easily and stood too, walking to Sirius. "Oh exactly, _that's_ the secret I've been hiding: my complete distaste for your personality. Couldn't you tell that by how much I've enjoyed your company?"

Sirius chuckled and a content silence fell. Remus was the first to speak. "Thank you for not...using this."

Sirius was surprised and took a step back. "Using what?

"My secret is rather explosive, and it's such a risk to tell anyone."

Sirius shrugged, "Well, you know I'm a fag so I'd call it even." He'd tried to hide the spite in his voice, but Remus's face led him to leave he had not done well.

"Sirius," Remus spoke softly and gently moved his hand to Sirius's arm. "Don't say that about yourself. It isn't what you are, you aren't some kind of societal pervert. You're wonderful, don't beat yourself up."

Sirius did not know what to make of Remus's words so he muttered a 'thank you'. Remus pressed on in the quiet. "Sirius, you found out one of the most volatile secrets about me and have not hated me..."Remus paused and seemed to be assessing if that was true, so Sirius nodded."And you haven't threatened me or tried to hurt me with this information."

"Are you trying to say blackmail? Do you expect me to hold this over your head? For what?" Remus raised his eyebrows significantly and Sirius's mouth fell open. "Oh. That. Well, I hadn't exactly thought of that particular method. But would you like me to blackmail into a sordid affair?" he asked with a faint smirk.

Remus took a deep breath and looked at Sirius - intelligent, kind, attractive, fascinating, passionate. He smiled and let the words fall out. "No, Sirius. No, I suspect you won't have to."

**Alright, has anyone else been unable to log into for the past 2 weeks? I've been ****so**** frustrated; I'm still working out the kinks in the system. Any software to recommend that won't have some "security concerns" about ff? I'd be obliged. So, patience because this time it isn't my health's fault! It's the computer! Hope you enjoyed.**


	13. Chapter 13

**13…**

Sirius's eyes widened. "I...pardon?"

Remus sighed and shook his head. "I just mean...I mean that you are such a good person, and if this wasn't our situation..." Remus glanced at the floor. He should never have started that sentence. "What I mean to say is that I would very much like to...get to know you better, were this not such a...sensitive situation."

"So, you have some interest in me, still?" Remus still wanted a relationship with him, but did he really want one with Remus? Of course, his mind instantly responded in the affirmative, but the idea that Remus wasn't entirely human and one bite could turn him...it scared Sirius.

"Er, yes. I realise it is a tad awkward. But I still have feelings for you...that unfortunately do not disappear simply because it is inappropriate." Remus smiled warily. "But I'll get over it, soon enough."

Sirius looked at the floor; he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He spoke hesitantly. "But...what if I don't want you to get over it?"

Remus glanced up. "Sirius, be realistic. I have to do what's best for the long term. I need a job, and you'll tire of me soon enough. I promise I'm not an interesting date."

Sirius shook his head; it was suddenly all slipping from his grasp. "But you want this to work, _I_ want this to work. Don't you think we should try to make it work?"

Remus smiled sadly. "No, there are too many risks, too much at stake if things didn't work out."

"Aren't you supposed to 'put yourself out there'? Shouldn't you be taking chances? I mean, that is what people are supposed to do to find love?" Sirius was exasperated.

"Well, obviously. But not with my student, surely!"

Sirius stared at his professor. "I'm not just a student though, am I?" He looked so lost.

Remus bit his lip and his shoulders sagged. "No, you are...more." He stepped closer to Sirius, slowly letting his hand cup the boy's cheek. "You are a lot more to me." And Remus kissed him.

Sirius felt like he was on fire, he couldn't believe his professor, Remus, was finally letting him know how he felt. The kiss was slow, hesitant as Remus moved his hand to the back of Sirius's neck to pull him in closer. Sirius couldn't help but moan slightly. Remus, whose other hand was holding on to Sirius's hip, pulled back to look at his student.

Sirius felt that he must have done something wrong, until Remus gave an almost shy smile and whispered huskily. "God, you don't know how long I've wanted to do this."

Sirius felt a comfortable smirk return to his face as he leaned back in to kiss Remus. His hands slowly slid across Remus's back with one ending on his neck and the other on his rear. Remus fell right into play and pulled Sirius impossibly close against him. After a moment or two, the professor and student discovered the unfortunate need to breathe. Resting against each other's foreheads, they panted and shared a nervous smile. Sirius was the first to speak.

"I can't believe this is happening. I mean, I haven't stopped thinking about this, trying to figure it all out." Sirius shakily let his hands map across Remus's face and neck, making their way down his chest and torso. Remus's breath hitched.

"I know, I just...this can't get out of control. We can't ruin everything. This job, this chance to not be labeled as a werewolf--I can't lose that." Sirius caught sight of tears in Remus's eyes and reached his arms around him in the most comforting hug he could manage.

"I won't let that happen to you..." Sirius could feel Remus sigh and chuckle slightly, but felt unwilling to move. His lips pressed softly against the professor's neck, he didn't want to go anywhere.

Remus sighed. "It's so odd to have you trying to comfort me. I'm the professor; I should make you feel happy."

Sirius slowly began kissing up Remus's neck rather nervously; he wanted this so much it hurt. He reached the man's lips and felt a tiny whine from his teacher. "I would certainly not object to that effort." And with that, Sirius surged into Remus, kissing him as deeply as he could, prying open the willing lips.

Hands flew everywhere, groans echoed around the room. Remus, pulling the younger man with him, backed into one of the many bookshelves in the sitting room. Sirius splayed his hands out on the shelves and pushed farther into Remus, unable to stop himself now that they had really started.

But he stopped pushing when he realised Remus was pushing back, perhaps in an effort to move away? Remus, instead, grabbed his waist and purposely began walking them towards another wall of shelves, which gave way to a doorway.

With a set of lips latched onto his neck, Sirius was able to take in the scene of the new room they'd entered through the hidden panel. He realised with a jolt that it was Remus's bedroom and suddenly he felt terrified.

Remus noticed the fear and pulled up to kiss him firmly, stroking his hands over the student's back. "Alright? Is this going too fast? It is, isn't it? I'm so terribly sorry, I'm just not accustomed to dating...or whatever this is."

Sirius smiled in relief that Remus sounded equally nervous. "No, I want this. I really do, just it's all new to me. I've got no idea what I'm doing here and it scares me shitless. But, no, we should continue." Sirius waggled his eyebrows and started moving towards the sizable bed in the corner.

Remus followed but began to reconsider. Perhaps Sirius was pushing over his fears of tonight because he was afraid this wouldn't happen again. And wouldn't that just be the worst. Worse than dating a student, bedding one who clearly wasn't ready for it. "Sirius, wait. I...we'll be able to do this again. Tonight doesn't have to be everything, yeah?"

Sirius stopped and stared at him, eyes wide with fear and suspicion. "Are you telling me you don't think you'll regret all this come morning? You're completely serious about this becoming something?"

Remus felt weak, stumbled over towards the bed and dragged Sirius to sit next to him. He actively ignored their mutual erections, choosing this moment to talk instead. "Yeah, I'm sure. I'm completely mental for this and we need rules, but yes. There's no need to push this tonight. I like you; I want to be there for you."

Remus suddenly found himself on his back, his arms full of Sirius. He felt, rather than heard his student's slightly shaky breathing. Remus gently tugged the boy's face up and stared at the bright, shame-filled eyes. "Sirius?"

Sirius shook his head. "I'm fine, sorry. I just...I don't think anyone has ever said that kind of thing to me. It's...er...it's rather nice."

Remus blushed and suddenly felt a rush of empathy towards the student, who maintained the strongest of composures for the outside world. "Yes, well. I'm nice, aren't I?"

Sirius laughed and rolled to the side, letting his hands move slowly over Remus as he sat up. "My family isn't exactly the warm and fuzzy type. Just a few bottles of alcohol and some bloody mashed up kids on any given night. Who could ask for anything more?"

The bitter tone made Remus wince...it certainly wasn't the talented young hands working their way into his robe that brought a shiver. "Do you want to talk about it?" Remus struggled to sit up and let the robe slide away, leaving only a thin dress shirt with a frayed tie on top.

Sirius shrugged and smirked a little, catching his professor's eye. Leaning in for a kiss he whispered, "There really isn't much to say...there's plenty more to do, isn't there?"

An impossibly long kiss and Remus couldn't help but begin to tug at Sirius's clothing as well. Breaking to breathe, Remus mumbled into Sirius's jaw as he kissed upwards, "I'm sorry you haven't had a good chance to be happy."

Sirius let a hand fall trembling to Remus's crotch and extracted a surprised groan. "You can change that now."

They shared a laugh as Remus whispered a playfully-annoyed; "I so set myself up for that." The quiet laugh in the room seemed oddly intimate, and Remus shivered slightly with realisation of everything they were doing: sitting on his bed, removing each other's clothing...how had he reached this?

Sirius seemed to notice this and stopped his efforts of undoing Remus's trousers, and effort that Remus missed sorely. "Are you regretting this?"

"No! I mean, this isn't ideal...being in this situation with a pupil, certainly. We need to take this slower. But I'm not going to...to change my mind on you." And at that particular moment, Remus realised that's what he had been doing all along to the poor boy.

**There has been a delay in my life that put personal writings aside. Priorities are put in order already when you suffer from chronic pain like I do, but a little cancer scare doesn't hurt. For all those concerned, the results (finally) came back negative—no brain tumor. I'll write when I can. **


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks for all the support with my health, I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint!**

Sirius felt incredibly rested. He vaguely saw a hint of the sunrise through the curtains in his room -- no, not his room! Sirius moved to sit up and found himself lying next to the subject of many of his fantasies. His professor - his male professor. Sirius was lying in bed, partially dressed with another man. Excellent.

He recalled now the conversation of the previous night; the conversation of werewolves--was he actually in love with a werewolf?--and understanding the need to take things slowly and be subtle. They had talked of Sirius's family briefly, only vague comments that Sirius sincerely hoped Remus had forgotten. Once people knew you were beat as a child, Sirius found they tended to act differently around you.

But Remus had made clear the need to keep things quiet. And Sirius rather agreed, there was no need to stand up during class and shove Remus against the wall for the purpose of a breathless clinch--but he certainly wanted to. He knew they had to be careful though, and perhaps that would increase the fun. All the secrets and disguised passions.

Just then Sirius felt Remus stirring next to him and became all too aware of his own morning enthusiasm. "Good morning." Sirius murmured he leaned in, unable to resist kissing the other man. Remus responded slowly, still taking in his bearings.

"Mmm...morning." Remus ran his hands over Sirius's wrinkled shirt, slowly sliding the buttons out of their holes.

Sirius glanced down at the body of his professor, moving his hand bravely to the other man's crotch. "We just talked...exhausted, I suppose."

Following a heated moan from his professor, Sirius moved himself over Remus and carefully kissed him...and Remus kissed back. Remus kissed back with such fervor, rolling them around until he was on top. Sirius gasped as he felt his shirt slide off and tried desperately to focus on the scene of Remus struggling out of his tie. And being the thoughtful adolescent he was, Sirius decided to help him.

He leaned up and helped pull the shirt from Remus and starred. His professor was fit, perhaps a little scrawny but well-muscled. Sirius winced as he saw the layers of criss-crossing scars covering Remus. He slowly traced the scars with his fingers, reveling in the shivers and shaky breathing it caused Remus.

In the pale light of dawn, Sirius could make out the concern on Remus's face. "I don't care about the scars." Remus smiled and averted his eyes, whispering 'thank you'. Remus moved off of Sirius's lap and kissed down his chest, tugging the student's trousers down in the process.

Sirius felt himself blush, he knew he was hard and that Remus probably was too. But there was something so embarrassing about doing this with another bloke. Remus glanced up, "something wrong?"

Sirius shook his head, smiling weakly. "No, I just...I've never been." He swallowed and sighed to calm the nerves. "I've never been so turned on."

To his utmost surprise, Remus gave a wicked grin and pulled Sirius's pants off his legs along with the trousers. "I should hope so."

Sirius forgot how to breathe when Remus kissed him, _there_. He grappled with the sheets as the warm mouth sucked him in completely. "Oh, God...Remus" appeared to be the most Sirius could muster. He didn't want to come too quickly and certainly not in Remus's mouth, but it was becoming too much; the emotional impact of the relationship he was forming seeped into the forefront of his mind and Sirius couldn't stop it if he tried.

A harsh gasp that sounded very much like 'Remus' and a tensed body, and Remus was suddenly over flooded with Sirius. He dutifully swallowed, gasping his own breath. How could giving a blow job be as sexy as getting one? Remus was puzzled, but incredibly happy. He wasn't thinking of how this was ethically wrong, just focusing on the fulfilling view of a 'sexed-out' Sirius lying beneath him.

Sirius was struggling to catch his breath. "Oh, God. Remus, you are bloody amazing, you know that?" Remus grinned down at him, blush heavy on his cheeks. He hesitantly leaned down towards Sirius, not sure if the boy wanted a kiss at the moment. Sirius quickly cleared it up by ardently pushing his mouth into Remus's; a near crushing kiss of tongues warring for more.

Sirius struggled to sit up. He reached for Remus's trousers and unbuttoned them quickly, still leaning in to kiss Remus. The professor pulled back, shaking his head. "You don't have to, what I want right now...it is rather a lot."

Sirius bit his lip, but pushed forward. He gently moved his hand into Remus's hair and brought their faces together for another kiss. He cursed his shaking voice as he whispered, "I want you to have what you want."

Remus stopped breathing and opened the eyes he hadn't meant to close. He nodded slowly and kissed Sirius again. "Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?"

Sirius pushed him back and pulled off his professor's trousers and pants. He grinned down at Remus, "No, I was joking, but as long as we're both here..."

Remus laughed and subtly tried to gather the sheets around his waist. Sirius pulled them away. "Oh come now, you can't decide to be bashful after giving such an amazing blowjob!"

Both were laughing, smiling. Subtle touches and rather quickly it became far more heated. Sirius gasped at the feeling of Remus's body on top of his, nothing between them. He loved the feeling of hot skin pressing into his, and Sirius tentatively moaned as much.

Remus leaned up on his forearms, panting and smiling down at the freshly-kissed student. He reached over to the bedside table and grabbed his wand. Remus began to repeat the crawl down Sirius' body. He gently pried the muscled, but shaking legs apart.

Sirius gasped, throwing his head back onto the pillow as cold and wet fingers touched him. It wasn't like anything he'd ever imagined, he couldn't tell if he was in pain, pleasure, or a high numbness. The wand, having done its job, was left to the side and Remus crawled up to lay on his left, leaning over to kiss Sirius while he continued to stretch Sirius. Turning to face each other, Sirius brought his leg up and curled it over Remus' waist, fiercely kissing him. He couldn't catch his breath, the sensations Remus was creating were so surreal and he didn't know whether he ought to cry out or moan.

"How do you want to...position for this?" Remus was panting, and moving his fingers slowly and purposefully.

Sirius didn't care one way or the other, as long as it was soon and was with Remus. "Why don't you teach me your favourite, _professor_."

He knew the reminder of their complicated relationship status was a risk, but couldn't help himself. To Sirius, it almost made things better; he didn't trust any adult in his life and suddenly he had one he could trust and love and could turn to for anything, so what if that included sex? But to his utmost surprise, Remus grinned and leaned in for another kiss. "You tosser." Remus flipped back on top of Sirius and crouched down pushing his fingers into Sirius for a final time.

And with that, Remus was over Sirius. In him, slowly and carefully. Sirius bit his lip and groaned, the pain was bizarre and unfamiliar, but it somehow was exactly what he wanted. He glanced up at Remus and could tell the man had forgotten to breathe. Remus's eyes moving all across Sirius's body and his hands were shaking as they traced along his student's neck. Remus was hard-pressed to contain the overwhelming desire to ram into Sirius and be done with the torturous foreplay.

Sirius nodded, making eye contact with Remus. "Could you...?"

Remus was shaking with the need to move, take the tight and overheated sensations to the next level. He nodded quickly in return and moved in more, gasping and moaning, taken over.

The two men moved together in impossible heat and passion, crying out in a satisfying mixture of pleasure and pain as their relationship reached an apex. They were really doing this, finally, together. Moving as one in a more intimate and unified way than either could have possibly hoped for.

A steady give and take between the two continued, Sirius straining his body and arching his neck to kiss Remus. He wanted nothing less than complete connection, and Remus delivered with each breathtaking kiss. And suddenly Sirius felt like he was drowning in perfection, nothing existed but that magical spot deep inside him that Remus kept stimulating. Sirius wasn't aware of anything, he just needed to be touched and held. Remus was setting him on fire with every thrust and touch on the heated skin. In a blaze, Sirius could feel himself losing complete control, and it was more thrilling than anything else. He could feel himself drifting down to reality again and acknowledged the choked cry of his name from the panting body above.

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	15. Chapter 15

15...

Sirius lay silently under his professor, still very aware of positions of their bodies. He couldn't believe it, he'd finally gotten his professor to pay attention and perhaps fall in love? Oh, fuck. Was this love? Were they together? Did Remus want that? Did he? Such a girl, mate... "You know I certainly would be doing better in your class if this was part of the curriculum." Remus glanced down as used his arms to lift himself out and off of Sirius. "Excellent pillow talk, Black," he quipped dryly. Sirius grinned as Remus collapsed next to his student and absently pulled the boy into his arms. "This is amazing...thank you, Remus." Remus snorted. "Trust me; I believe the thanks are mutual." "So, er, what comes next?" "Would you be terribly offended or wildly flattered if I didn't move for the rest of the day?" Sirius laughed lightly and moved his hand up to touch Remus's face. "I like this," he whispered, leaning up to kiss Remus. "Mm? What's that?" Remus murmured back.

Sirius sighed and bit his lip. "When you like me, talk to me...I feel less like a creepy stalker." Remus closed his eyes briefly. Sirius certainly was an expert at bringing to serious issues to light.

"Of course, I do...I'm so sorry that I've made you feel bad about this in the past. But you know...well, you know this doesn't change anything in public?"

"Yes, I'll behave. No blowing kisses in the Great Hall."

"Definitely not! And in class, don't stare at me."

"What does that mean? You are the professor, how can I not look at you?"

"Alright, fine you can look. But for the love of God, stop looking at me like you want to see me naked!"

Sirius rolled farther onto Remus, running his hand down the lithe frame. "But I do...and now I've got a really accurate mental image to add to this."

Remus groaned, moving his hand to the absolutely perfect arse on his student. "Why don't you save all that for one-on-one tutoring?"

"Really? We are going to have tutoring sessions? May I inquire as to the subject you are going to teach me? Any chance this is going to be hands-on?" Sirius felt himself harder and warmer, thrusting into Remus's groin. He pushed himself up on one elbow, using the other hand to move into Remus's hair.

"No, I'm actually going to turn--oh God!--you into a decent student. Apparently your Charms scores aren't nearly close to what they should be."

"Luckily, it is still winter break and we've got nowhere to be." Sirius kissed Remus harder, hard as he possibly could. They remained in Remus' bed for the remainder of the day.

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Sirius couldn't remember a time when he had been so happy before. He and Remus were able to spend almost the entirety of Christmas break sipping tea in Remus's office and continuing their relationship. Sirius loved talking to him, Remus was sweet and funny. He knew so much about magic and was an excellent storyteller. Unfortunately, after their fourth 'date', as Sirius liked to call them, Remus stopped before kissing him goodnight.

"Listen, Sirius. I'm not going to be available tomorrow and in all likelihood I won't be around the day after either."

Sirius was surprised at how jealous and lonely he felt at the simple notion. "Oh, sure. Why?"

"It is, er...it's going to be the full moon. I have to...transform."

"Oh, right. I sort of forgot."

Remus nodded and bit his lip. "Well, I will be out of commission for the better part of two days."

"Can I visit you, you know, afterwards?"

"Er, I don't think that would be a very good idea...it isn't pretty."

Sirius nodded. "Alright, well, owl me when you are up to visitors."

Remus impulsively leaned forward and kissed Sirius, securing his arms around the student's waist. "You are so wonderful with this. It is mad how lucky I am."

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_Dear James-_

_I hope your holiday has been good. I'm assuming the owl carrying my present died en route, that's obviously the only reason I didn't get a gift from you. I'm spending a lot of time with my 'tutor', Professor Lupin. Things are going well; I guess I could tell you more if you want to know. _

_Padfoot_

_If Lily had a problem, like a really big dangerous problem, would you still love her?_

_Padfoot-_

_No, there wasn't an owl death; I just didn't get you anything. I'll get you some personal 'from the heart' shit when I get back. Apparently this summer, my parents want us to travel before I start Auror training. My graduation gift is a trip to Japan, you know what a sucker I am for the Asian League—Osaka's team treats the broom like an extension of self. Brilliant stuff. This sort of means you have to find another place to crash this summer. My parents want to know if you need help._

_Does Lupin have something wrong with him? If it is dangerous or fatal, you need to stay away. Don't get hurt just because you are thinking with your dick. But I'm glad things are working out for now, I support you or whatever. And no, details are not at all necessary._

_Your fearless stag, _

_Prongs_

_Prongs-_

_Things are fine. It is really hard to explain, but I went and saw him when he got okay and it was great. I like spending time with him, how girly is that? I think things are going to get more difficult when term starts, but we'll manage because I actually want this 'relationship' to work. I'm such a pussy. Forgive me?_

_Fine, don't take details. But I'll tell you something—head from a bloke is infinitely better. If only you knew._

_Lucky in love,_

_S._

_Holly shit, Sirius._

_I didn't need to know anything about your sex life. And no, I'll never know that experience but I'm terrified and flattered (?) by the offer…perv. I'm packing for the train tomorrow and my mum is trying to convince me to pack more wool sweater waistcoat things... I think I'll have you wear them since you are now the official poof of the group. Is that offensive? _

"_Lucky in LOVE?!?!" Are you in love with the professor? Can I just say that will make grading extremely biased? Put in a good word for me, yeah?_

_See you tomorrow._

**Alright, I'm working on this. Really, I'm making an effort but there's sort of a writer's block looming. Help? *whines***

**Also, REVIEW! (Do it for justice! __)**


	16. Chapter 16

16...

Needless to say, DADA was awkward for Professor Lupin. He knew it would be, he'd planned on how to ignore his…friend during class. But damn that boy and his enigmatic smile. And Remus couldn't help feeling a little proud when Sirius started participating in classroom discussions. Surely he could reward that with a smile?

Saying his name in class made Remus flash back to crying out Sirius' name during…other things.

But Remus felt like people were noticing. Professor McGonagall commented that Sirius has never responded to a teacher quite like Remus, perhaps Remus should share his methods with everyone else. The student James Potter kept squinting during class, moving his eyes from Sirius to Remus, as if trying to understand some sort of connection. Remus ought to make sure that Sirius hadn't told him, students couldn't know. For one, it was against all rules and ethical obligations. For two, Remus didn't want to be seen as some sort of easy pull for a good grade. It was becoming a larger concern everyday that Remus avoided talking to Sirius about it.

Sometimes when class ended, Sirius would spill his ink or drop a book and stay to talk to Remus, arrange another tutoring lesson. On this particular day, however, Remus decided he would be the one calling the shots—initiating a public conversation.

"Alright, for your assignment—" the class groaned. "Yes, shocking. A professor who likes to make sure you are actually learning things. I want 2 feet of parchment summarizing the controversy of goblin powers and the history of it. By Tuesday. And Mr. Black, I'd like to see you after class." And right at that moment, Remus was sure that James Potter knew, because the boy couldn't look more obviously at Sirius like he wanted details and inside information if he tried.

The class filed out, not terribly surprised that Sirius Black was, yet again, in trouble. Potter seemed to dawdle and gave Remus several significant glances that he couldn't quite read yet. Potter knew, obviously. But that didn't inherently mean that everyone else knew. Sirius deserved the benefit of the doubt—but even without the fear of him babbling, Remus was nervous about the logistics of their relationship. There needed to be more organisation and, well, Remus didn't really need an excuse to be nervous about the discovery other than the simple fact he could lose his job.

"Professor Remus." Sirius nodded and smirked with an air of confidence that Remus found upsetting. Sirius had been doing that a lot—calling him 'Remus' in front of the students and the fact they were alone now didn't change the past.

"It's 'Professor Lupin' in class, Sirius. You'd do well to remember that." Remus chided.

Sirius frowned. "Alright, but we aren't in class. What's going on with you?"

"Does Mr. Potter know?"

Sirius gave a patronizing sigh. "Does Mr. Potter know what?"

"You know damn well what I'm talking about! Did you tell your little friend about…about us?"

Sirius flustered and, as he'd learned from a childhood in the Black household, took the offense as his defense. "What the hell is up your arse? You think I'm going to start telling everyone why your tutoring sessions are so enlightening?"

Remus raised a threatening finger at Sirius. "This isn't funny. He can't know because you don't know who he'll tell!"

"He's my best friend; he wouldn't do anything to expose us! I needed someone to talk to when you were giving me so many mixed signals, dammit."

"So you're holding me accountable for your inability to keep your mouth shut?"

Sirius just gave him a shrewd glare. "What the _fuck_ is wrong with you? Why are you doing this?"

Remus tried a small backpedal. "Look, I can't lose my job. I'm paranoid about it, alright? This isn't something I want to mess around with, just let me worry."

"There's a big difference between worry and going on the attack." Sirius scoffed.

"Did you tell him?"

"Yeah, I did. It was bloody terrifying not knowing where we stood and he was willing to listen to my poof ramblings so yes—I told him."

Remus paused. Sirius looked angry, obviously, but his eyes were shining as though he was fighting back tears. "I didn't mean to make you cry." Remus mumbled apologetically.

"Oh shut up, you know damn well I'm not. You…you're just frustrating. I mean, if it is so bloody important to keep it a shameful secret, why didn't you wait to talk to me during a tutoring session instead of broadcasting it to the whole class?"

Remus shuffled his papers awkwardly. "Because I tend to get a little distracted during those sessions."

"Ah." Sirius nodded knowingly. "You aren't setting a terribly _good _example for your student then, are you?"

"Look, just…" Remus gave an exasperated sigh. "Just, what did Mr. Potter say about all this?"

"'Mr. Potter' expressed consternation that he was not previously invited into a menage-a-trois. What do you think his reaction was? He was uncomfortable and attempted to remain supportive of my poofy predilections with a surprising success."

Remus just stared. "Alright, I know you were mocking me and trying to sound proper, but you used at least 2 words I didn't think you even knew…and used them correctly."

Sirius laughed. "All the more reason for our sessions to not involve academia, I'm completely covered in that department."

"I just don't want him saying anything—"

"He won't."

"But what if someone else finds out—"

"Like who?"

"Professor McGonagall, for one."

"I doubt she would recognise a sexual relationship if she walked in on us going at it."

"Oh God, I don't want that visual, thank you."

"Are we done with irrational panic then? Because it's exhausting and you're making me nervous."

"How do you mean?"

Sirius sighed. "Look, Remus, you rethinking everything and harassing me on my ability to keep secrets…just…are you sure you aren't regretting this?"

"No! Sirius, I just want us to be careful."

"I thought we were careful."

"Just _extra_ careful because I can't lose this, I can't lose you. Too important." Remus's voice was almost at a whisper.

"What's too important then?" Sirius pressed.

Remus gave an almost embarrassed smile. "Us."

"Wow. I'll take your panicked accusations any day if I get that kind of confession." Sirius gave a nervous laugh. "You take us seriously."

Remus gave a glare that didn't reach his eyes. "Yes…you don't?"

"I do…" Sirius said slowly as he made his way closer to Remus, putting his hands on the desk on either side of the professor's body. "It's just really nice to hear you say that."

Remus, slouched against the desk, had to look up rather significantly to see meet Sirius's eyes. He leaned up and kissed him, slowly pushing a hand into the younger man's hair. Remus gave a small tease of tongue before pulling back. "Do I not make that point often enough for you?"

"Mmm, usually you manage it without having to actually say it. Not that I'm complaining." Sirius leaned in for another kiss, moving one hand to Remus's waist to pull him closer.

"I'll work on expressing myself better. More talk, less walk." Remus pulled back smirking.

"No, I like the walk. I like your walking, it's inspiring. Very effective. In fact, I think we ought to do some walking tomorrow after dinner."

"Alright, tutoring tomorrow."

"You've been tutoring me since before Christmas, which was almost 2 months ago. And you just made a declaration of some kind. Remus, my dear, we are going to have a date tomorrow night." Sirius made a dramatic flourish with his hand.

"I'd like that. As long as when you tell Mr. Potter about this, you make sure he knows he isn't invited." Remus raised an eyebrow.

Sirius pushed off the desk towards the door and turned around before leaving to deadpan, "And I'll make sure to tell him the date is with Professor _Lupin_."

**A/N: Hope you liked my little filler. Thanks for all the reviews; they are my weapon against the sneaky block called "Writer".**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: A quick note—I have on good authority from both an Irish and German friend that 'bathroom' is an acceptable term for the private toilet in a home and 'grade' is a universal term for a score in academic setting. If I'm wrong, on any slang for that matter, do tell me so I can engage in some cross-Atlantic head smacks to said friends who like tricking Americans.**

17...

"You look fine, Princess." James glanced up from his Potions book to where Sirius stood in front of the mirror in the dorm.

"Sod off, I'm just trying to look…nice." Sirius had been preening for the better part of 10 minutes, trying to ignore the gnawing in the pit of his stomach. Tonight wasn't any different, but it felt different. Maybe because Remus had actually said something emotional instead of implying it, Sirius didn't exactly know.

"Right, so are you going to be gone all night, or should I wait up for you?" James raised his eyebrow and smirked as he asked.

Sirius blushed and readjusted the collar of his white button-down shirt. "For your information, sometimes we just talk."

"But sometimes you don't and sometimes I have to cover for you."

"And my hormones and I appreciate that. But I'm certainly not staying the night, haven't since school started again." Sirius grabbed his bag with schoolbooks for the illusion of tutoring. Sometimes they'd discuss classes, but he was quite sure the books weren't going to be used this time at all. "Just go back to studying, I'll be back later."

"You know, I was much more comfortable with our dynamics when I was out wooing fair Lily and you had nothing to do but work."

"So go bother your girlfriend. Take advantage of the relationship before she gets her senses and breaks up with you. We're really in the same boat, aren't we? Involved with people too good for us, but who haven't figured it out yet."

James stared blankly then grinned. "My God, Sirius, that sounds a lot like love for Professor Lupin."

"Shut up." And Sirius was out of the dormitory without another word, but he was smiling.

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Sirius choked on his tea. "What?!?"

Remus looked up from his teacup absently as Sirius roughly let his clank on the table. "Calm down, Sirius, I'm working on it."

"But, shouldn't I do something to help—"

"NO."

"You don't think I'll be helpful in persuading our dear Professor McGonagall?" Sirius gave an exaggerated pout.

Remus laughed. "Oh, don't be offended. You know damn well you'll make things worse."

"But I'm twice as attractive as you. She may not listen to reason, but I'll distract her with my startling eyes."

Remus put his tea down and moved across the sofa to cuff his hand around the back of Sirius's neck. He spoke lowly against Sirius's lips. "Don't you dare turn those eyes on anyone but me…"

Sirius let himself be drawn into a long kiss. Remus gently guided his head onto the sofa and adjusted until his was lying on top of his student. His right hand running down the length of Sirius's abdomen, tickling the skin as he pushed the shirt up.

"Remus, you have to stop her." Sirius muttered distractedly, threading his hands through Remus's hair. "I'll get more stupid! I'll take up more of your time, so you don't have time to start tutoring those kids."

"It is my job to teach students, you know…" Remus put his knees outside of Sirius's thighs and sat back on his heels. He pulled Sirius up by his hands and placed his hands on the small of Sirius's back. "I won't teach them like you, but I need to help my students…"

Both men gasped for shallow breaths between kisses. "Fine, but could you help this student get out of his trousers first?"

Remus laughed and pulled Sirius off the sofa and started walking towards the panel in the wall. "I'll appease her request for more tutoring hours, but I'll save my 'after dark' lessons for you, agreed?"

They kissed their way into the room and blindly fell on the bed, Remus on top. They continued kissing for a few minutes, Sirius loving how he could run his hands over Remus's body. The freedom to touch the hair, kiss the throat, feel that arse…whenever he wanted.

Suddenly Remus grabbed at Sirius's shoulders and rolled over, pulling himself under the student. Sirius stopped kissing and looked down. The sliver of moon threw a soft light over the bed and Remus's face, giving a shine to his eyes…his very nervous eyes. "What is it?" Sirius panted, glancing over his professor's face.

"I…I have a question." Remus started uneasily. Sirius pulled back and nodded, encouraging Remus to continue. "I was wondering if you wanted to try something a little different."

Sirius squinted and gave an exaggerated raise of the eyebrows. "_How_ different?"

"Er, just switching positions."

"You mean, I…I sit on…you during this?" Sirius felt himself blush. After everything they'd done, putting it into words was still awkward.

"No, I mean, if you want to try that, then yes—obviously. I was just thinking you take the, the top role." Remus smiled, but he looked nervous.

"Oh. Is that alright with you?" Sirius leaned to the side on his elbow.

"I wouldn't have offered if it wasn't."

"I could hurt you, Remus."

"And I could've hurt you every other time we've been together."

"But you already have problems, with being a wolf once a month. I couldn't imagine making it worse—aggravating your sore muscles."

Remus openly laughed. "If you don't want to try it, please, just say so."

"No! I do, just…teach me?" Sirius grinned nervously as he leaned back down over Remus.

"I do believe that's in my job description." Remus moved his hands into the younger man's hair and used his leg hooked around Sirius's thigh to bring the warm weight down on top of him.

Sirius engaged in the heated kiss for a moment before he let his hands wander to Remus' robes and clothes underneath. With a few frustrated grunts at the buttons, Sirius was quite soon removing his professor's trousers and pants. Remus immediately did the same to Sirius's clothing. With the final stitch of clothing gone, Sirius took a deep breath before ghosting his mouth over Remus's groin. Using his hands to hold the hips in place, he proceeded to suck slowly on the cock before him. It was easily worth the awful taste to hear Remus moaning. No longer reserved, he was trapped, naked, underneath his student completely out of control. And the way he just kept crying out Sirius's name was achingly beautiful. It certainly did wonders for Sirius's shaky self-esteem.

Sirius pulled his mouth off, amid much groaning and many threats of a failing grade, to kiss up the professor's chest. With another firm kiss on the mouth, where Sirius delighted in taking control, he rolled over to the bedside table for—where the bloody hell was his wand?

Slipping off the bed to search through his clothing, Sirius was surprised to turn back to the bed to find Remus looking very nervous.

"Remus, I'm coming back to bed, you know."

"Shh!" Remus hissed and listened carefully. He continued in hushed but harsh tones. "Do you hear that?"

Sirius strained to listen, but to what? Deciding to ignore his erection, he played along with a whispered response. "No, I can't hear anything. What are you on about?"

But suddenly Sirius could hear it, there was someone making their way from Remus's office to his sitting area…which still had Sirius's schoolbag lying obviously next to the sofa. His heart beating near out of his chest, all Sirius could think was _'How could someone get in?'_.

But Remus was a step ahead, off the bed to scoop up Sirius's clothing and quickly run it into the bathroom. Hastily returning to pull on his trousers, Remus began another round of intense whispering, whilst pointing at the bathroom. "Get in there, now! Don't say a damn word. Go—move!"

Sirius made it into the washroom just in time, as a quick knock came to the bedroom door. Sirius pressed his ear against the door to listen as Remus opened the bedroom door.

"_Minerva! Was I expecting you?"_

"_Ah, no, Remus. I'm sorry to barge into your free time, but I must get an answer on the tutoring."_

"_Oh. Of course, I'd be happy to help. I don't think I can completely turn around the students' view of learning. I'll certainly do my best.."_

"_Ha, of course not. But, er, Remus, there was another aspect to the issue…"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Sirius Black. You're only tutoring him currently, yes?"_

"_Ah, yes. Usually once or twice a week."_

"_I noticed a student's bag, his bag specifically, in your sitting room back there. Remus, it is a bit odd to personalise the tutoring—bringing it into your personal quarters."_

"_Well, it just seemed a more, er, comfortable environment. Less clinical, you know."_

"_Of course. But…his bag is still there."_

"_Yes, he is, he is, ahh, he left it here, I suppose."_

"_Alright."_

"…_is that all, Minerva?"_

"_Remus, some students have approached me. They've noticed him hanging around after your classes."_

"_We usually set up appointments then."_

"_They've noticed you together in the halls."_

"_I do talk to him, Minerva, to all my students."_

"_Remus, may I be blunt?"_

"_Please."_

"_There are a few concerned students, and I'm beginning to agree, that see your relationship as less than professional."_

"…"

"_Remus?"_

"_I…I don't know how I defend that but to say it's wrong."_

"_How long ago did Mr. Black leave your sitting room?"_

"_Nearly 20 minutes."_

"_And he packed up his bag, but still left it behind?"_

"_We—we were talking, he was distracted, I'm sure."_

"_And you immediately went to bed? In your clothes? And, forgive me for commenting, but the bed appears a…a mess."_

"_Are you suggesting Sirius was in my bed?"_

"_I'm simply inquiring, Remus."_

"_He wasn't."_

"_I'm not entirely comfortable taking your word for it. This is a serious accusation, you must understand that."_

"_Well, yes. What exactly do you want me to do, to prove that?"_

"_I just wanted to give you warning; I'm going to head off to speak with Mr. Black now—"_

"_I wouldn't do that."_

"_I beg your pardon?"_

"_No! I just mean, just…he's fragile. His life at home isn't good, if anything I'm a father figure. A confrontation, any suggestion that it's impure could wreck a lot of the progress we've made."_

"'_Progress we've made'? What do you think you are to him, some sort of counselor?"_

"_In some manner, yes."_

"_Remus, while your intentions are good, I'm sure, do you really believe he holds the same view?"_

"_You think he could be infatuated with me?" _

"_Perhaps, do you think that's funny?"_

"_No, I'm just laughing because it seems so harmless. I'd be rather flattered if that was the case."_

"_Yes, I'm sure it would be nice. You know, there was a time I had similar followings."_

"_I imagine you still have many students, Minerva, who like your classes for more than the material."_

"_Very smooth, Remus. Flattery may get you a lot of places, but I still must talk to Black."_

"_Just please, be sensitive. I don't want him not to feel comfortable coming to me."_

"_So I suppose you are more than a tutor."_

"_A father figure, perhaps a friend."_

"_He doesn't need replacing. Mr. Black does take a very active role in his sons' lives."_

"_But is it positive?"_

"_What are you saying, Remus? Is he…how does he treat the boys?"_

"_Nothing…I just, I shouldn't have said anything."_

"_If a student is being harmed in any way it's your _duty _to report it."_

"_Just…his father takes a more medieval—more physical approach to discipline. From what I've gathered."_

"…_that bastard."_

"_Nothing illegal, just questionable. More old-fashioned methods. Tread lightly, Minerva, I beg of you."_

"_Of course, there's obviously nothing we can do. Between you and me, that family is a stone wall—untouchable. I tell you, money in the wrong hands can keep some terrible secrets."_

"_Yes, well, I should head back to bed. I do my best grading in the early morning."_

"_Oh, of course. Just…be careful with Mr. Black. I don't want another student to come with those concerns, maybe you should take a step back for awhile. I'll let you know what the Headmaster thinks after I talk to Sirius Black. Enjoy your evening."_

Sirius stood frozen against the door, startled when Remus opened it. His professor was incredibly pale, apprehensive. "Sirius…" Remus croaked. "You…you need to get to your dormitory, Professor McGonagall wants to talk to you. She thinks that—"

"I heard everything." Sirius didn't know how he made the words come out. He was nauseous, filled with anger and fear. He grabbed the wrinkled shirt Remus had thrown back on and shoved him against the wall. His mouth almost against his professor's, kissing was the last thing on his mind. "I heard everything you bloody…you—you bastard."

Swallowing back a terrible lump in his throat, Sirius shoved his professor to the side and stumbled into the sitting room to grab his bag. He was out in the corridor in moments, his mind racing with his possible answers to the upcoming conversation with Professor McGonagall.

**A/N 2: I'll make it all better for the boys if you review. (Come on, a little bribery never hurt anyone.)**


	18. Chapter 18

18…

Completely out of breath, Sirius slammed the door to his dormitory shut behind him. Peter looked up startled. "For fuck's sake, don't scare me like that!"

"Sorry, just…just got held up after tutoring with Lupin. Some idiot Ravenclaws in the corridor tripped me. That's why I'm late. So…did I miss anything?"

Peter gave him a blank stare, answering slowly as if Sirius was very stupid. "Nooo. It's a Wednesday, Sirius, not a Quidditch match."

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, obviously. I'm fine, just gonna take a quick rinse." He quickly headed off towards the showers adjoined to the group bedroom. When he returned, not ten minutes later, Peter had entirely changed. The boy sat nervously on the edge of his bed, trying to give the illusion of studious which was ruined by his eyes' constant flicker towards his apparent guest.

Professor McGonagall sat awkwardly on the edge of one of the beds which belonged to a brilliant Potions student Ian. It appeared she didn't want to be sitting and had only just recently given up on standing as she waited for someone. Sirius quickly reasoned it was him she was here for. No matter, he excelled at clowning and giving her a hard time.

"Minnie, darling, to what do the seventh year Gryffindor boys owe this pleasure?"

She stared at him with the usual contempt his antics awarded him. "For goodness's sake, Mr. Black, is there absolutely no one you can address with their rightful respect?"

"Oh, I treat Lily Evans with respect. Lots of it. She'd curse me otherwise, you know you ought to keep an eye on her. Let's put it this way: her hair matches her temper." Sirius raised his eyebrows and gave the look of someone sharing secrets. Peter snorted; glad to break free from the tension of his chaperoned study session.

"Black," McGonagall pinched the bridge of her nose and tried a different tone of voice. "Sirius, I need to speak with you, I'm sure Mr. Pettigrew can find something in the common room to keep him busy."

Stupidly nervous Peter left him alone with the professor in seconds. Sirius sighed and grinned again—he really enjoyed cracking the jokes, but tonight it felt like a complete act. "So, what can I do for my favorite head of house? I'm afraid I'm all out of the toffee that I got at Christmas—"

"How is your tutoring with Professor Lupin coming?"

Ignoring her choice of using the word 'coming', Sirius answered the blunt question. "He's _teaching _me, what do you think it's like?"

"I'd prefer you tell me."

"It's boring."

McGonagall raised her eyebrows. It appeared she was assessing the situation and Sirius's response. If he was going to be so smug and petulant about the issue, her tactic should shift accordingly. At least, Sirius assumed that was what the cogs in her brain were spinning with because what unfolded was something more akin to an interrogation than a chat.

"No one has forced you to go to tutoring, yet you still do so."

"Yes."

"Well, why?"

"He's nicer than the rest of you lot, and I figure I ought to learn all this stuff before final exams."

"I see you have your schoolbag with you."

"Well, don't look so surprised, I have been known to use in on occasion."

"I saw it in Professor Lupin's quarters, just minuets ago."

"I'd left it there. Ran back and grabbed it."

"Well, I suppose we just missed each other. Convenient. You know, I was in his rooms for quite a while."

"Oh, please, Professor, I don't need to hear about your personal life." Sirius was pleased to note she flushed slightly.

"It isn't my personal life he's involved in."

"Oh? Does Library-Lovin' Lupin have a lovely lady?" Sirius made the alliteration almost obscene on his tongue.

"Sirius, what do you know about your Professor?"

"Er, I believe my title of "library-lovin'' rather summed him up nicely."

"How would you qualify your relationship with him?"

"Normal teacher/student stuff. What do you—"

"You spend a lot of time with him."

"…"

"Mr. Black? Answer me."

"It wasn't a question. Just what are you getting at?"

"How does he treat you?"

"…Like a rebellious but roguishly handsome student?"

"Did he use those words?"

"No…"

"Do you think he thinks you're handsome?"

"I don't know, Minerva, do _you _think I am?"

"Has he ever touched you?"

Sirius feigned surprise and disgust, which wasn't terribly difficult at this time. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Answer me, please. Honestly."

"Er, no."

"You seem unsure."

"I'm unsure at what your angle is."

McGonagall walked over towards Sirius and held his arm comfortingly. "I understand that you are used to adults getting away with hurting you, but I promise you that isn't the case at Hogwarts. I will personally see this through until all is righted, do you understand me, Sirius?"

"Nothing's wrong, he's an alright professor. I show an interest in learning and this is the thanks I get." Sirius shook his head wistfully. "What has education come to?"

"Sirius, if there's anything you want to tell me…about school or home?"

Sirius swallowed back the rising bile. "Oh, Professor, do you honestly think I'd tell you about anything? Wouldn't that ruin our relationship if you _knew _what I was doing, instead of hunting James and I down with wild, completely unfounded, accusations?" He tossed her a winning smile.

She returned a faint one. "Alright, Sirius. Well played, you seem to make me regret my profession more and more. I'm going to ask you to discontinue your tutoring sessions with Professor Lupin for the time being. I'll arrange for Professor Flitwick to take over."

Sirius nodded numbly, hoping his face revealed nothing. "Sounds like a grand time. I'll be sure to keep you posted on Flitwick's methods of seducing me, since you seem so invested."

McGonagall sighed. "Good night, Sirius. I expect you to have your essay for class tomorrow finished, actually written in English this time," she held up her hand as Sirius tried to interrupt, "because, no, I don't believe you for a second when you say you only know how to write in Polish. And for your information, simple doodles on the parchment do not qualify as Polish—it is an actual language."

Sirius moved to open the door for her and gave an exaggerated sigh. "Fine, rob me of my ethnic expression." She gave a sarcastic pursing of her lips, barely passing for a smile, and was out the door.

**A/N: I know this is short, but I still would really love to know what you think. I'll write again soon!**


	19. Chapter 19

19…

Remus nursed his brandy, rocking back and forth in his chair. What had he done? Why was Sirius so mad? Where was he now? Was he mad enough to ruin Remus?

Surely, Remus reasoned, Sirius could not have expected him to defend their relationship. Sirius didn't exactly want publicity for it either as Remus was quite sure he wasn't completely to terms with his sexuality. And all his lies seemed flawless. Sirius having left his bag, meeting in the sitting room, what could Sirius possibly hate him for? He represented Sirius rather fairly during McGonagall's questioning, even trying to get her to leave off because of Sirius's home life—

"Oh fucking hell." Remus barely breathed out.

Sirius was so damn sensitive, he barely wanted Remus to know about the treatment he got at home. Every time Remus had asked about it Sirius had brushed it off, making it quite clear they weren't going to talk about it. Ever. And now Remus had given Sirius's shame to his Head of House on a silver platter.

But he'd only been trying to make her see that he was a good kid—he'd had a tough time and deserved a break. Maybe if she knew he was coping with so much all his rebelling would be treated…Remus let the thought fall away. In the end, the only way Sirius would see people responding was with pity.

He'd never wanted pity, much like Remus, in fact. All Remus wanted was the complex balance of a person willing to understand how hard his life was, without running away, but still willing to treat him like a normal bloke. He'd found that, in Sirius. In someone who knew personally what kind of unwanted response big secrets get because Remus wasn't under any delusions about what would happen if the Black clan discovered the first born wasn't interested in breeding with pureblooded females. Someone who knew that pity is always just a step behind the concern and no matter how many times they insist otherwise, you can practically see pity oozing from them.

Taking a rather large gulp of his brandy, Remus stood and stumbled lightly to his desk. Grabbing the parchment and quill lying there, he quickly scribbled out a note to his lover. And God, how Remus loved the feeling in his heart when he used that word, 'lover'. And then felt the twist in his gut when he realised that wasn't there anymore.

_Sirius-_

_I cannot express how sorry I am, not in words, not in a letter.. Please stop by my office as soon as you can, there's a lot I need to make up for. _

–_RL_

Glancing over the note, Remus was satisfied it didn't look too much like a letter to a boyfriend—another jump in his heart beating at the word. And it contained only a slight sexual tone—one he hoped would encourage Sirius to come see him.

He needed to calm down, get a look at things in the big picture now. McGonagall suspected things thanks to some nosy student, but unless Sirius was offended to the point of being malicious, he wouldn't go so far as to destroy Remus. Because he really could, a werewolf taking an abused student into his bedroom twice a week would look terrible. And perhaps it really was, with Sirius's background and completely undeniable issue with father figures, Remus might be in over his head.

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Sirius collapsed into bed that night and just stared at the ceiling, he assumed James and everyone else had filed back in at some point, but he certainly didn't notice. He kept replaying all the conversations from the night, over and over again. Remus wanting to try new sexual things with him, Remus telling McGonagall everything he'd said in confidence about his father, McGonagall preventing him from seeing Remus again. Sirius wasn't sure if he was glad about the last one or not.

Why had Remus opened his stupid mouth? They could have easily gotten through McGonagall's questioning without telling her everything personal about Sirius. Sirius punched the pillow. He hadn't told a single soul what Remus was once a month and this was how he was treated? It made him feel sick—Remus made him feel sick.

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The 7th year class the next afternoon was so awkward it bordered on painful for Remus. He was trying to teach, trying to watch Sirius for signs of distress, trying to be inconspicuous about watching one student so closely, trying to send Sirius his apology through his eyes, _and_ trying to keep an eye on the girls who were passing notes across the aisle between tables. It was extremely trying, no pun intended.

Upon collecting the essays from his row, Remus noted that Sirius was staring at the floor. He was avoiding Mr. Potter's eyes, and it appeared Mr. Potter was working very hard to get his attention. Had been since class had started, probably before too. James knew things were wrong, Remus guessed, but Sirius hadn't said a word to James. For that he was grateful.

When the class ended, Remus took a chance and called for Sirius to stay after a moment. Not to be outdone, Sirius grabbed James's arm and whispered something to him. James looked suddenly alarmed but stood by Sirius as the rest of the class filed out.

Remus glanced between the two and stuttered slightly. "Sir-Sirius, I need to speak with you…a-alone."

Sirius nodded patronizingly. "Mm, I have a problem with that, do you have a problem with that, James?"

"Oh, absolutely." James nodded, and was certainly a brilliant partner-in-crime; Remus had to grant him that.

"And I know Professor McGonagall has a problem with it too." Sirius gave a terribly cold smile.

"Sirius…" Remus felt numb. "Please, don't…did you get my owl? This morning at breakfast, I saw you received it."

"And I was on my way to give it to McGonagall. You know, I denied some things last night to her, but I thought about it—it would feel good to tell the truth."

Remus took a step closer, but James moved to stand in front of Sirius. "Alright, Sirius. Don't say anything, I know you are upset, but it isn't worth it—"

"Oh, so _you _can tell everyone everything, but I've got to keep my mouth shut? That sounds like a terribly unequal relationship, perhaps I am being taking advantage of."

"I know, I know. And I'm so sorry about all of that, you know I am. You're right, I shouldn't have said anything but I panicked."

"Well, I don't want you to feel panicked and cornered again. I'm off to arrange tutoring with Flitwick, enjoy class with those Hufflepuff second years." Sirius grabbed James's sleeve and pulled him towards the door as the second years were filing in. "Oh, and Professor Lupin? Try keeping your hands to yourself this time."

**A/N: Surprise, I updated! I'm very busy with my studies, but imagine I'll be done with this soon nonetheless. (By done, I mean finish it, NOT hiatus.) Thoughts on this chapter? Share 'em.**


	20. Chapter 20

20…

James was frustrated beyond words. The past three weeks had been awful, and he was only a bystander. Sirius was barely finishing his work, dragging himself to tutoring with a terrible, fake smile on his face. Professor Lupin, for his part, had managed to keep teaching in the same way. But there were awkward pauses, moments where he noticed Sirius morosely dragging his quill across the book and stopped talking. He stared at Sirius for a moment, and even James thought he looked sorry about it, probably about everything.

Because Sirius had told James everything after the confrontation with Lupin. Of course, for the sake of James's stomach, Sirius left out the relationship-y details: just told him about the conversation between Lupin and McGonagall, then between Sirius and McGonagall. He was admittedly surprised that Sirius had told Remus about his home life, James was quite sure he was the only one of Sirius's friends to know that—and he only knew that because Sirius had needed somewhere to stay when he'd run away from home.

They were now in the library, which was an odd choice for the two biggest pranksters at the school, but Lily was having a large influence on James. Damn girl—too pretty, too intelligent, too good at getting her way. But, James reasoned, he was a better man for her.

"James, James, are you with me?" Sirius hit him over the head with a book, whispering. "Wake up, you idiot."

"Yeah, sorry. What do you want?"

Sirius was exasperated. "I want you to help me with this stupid assignment! I'm supposedly a good student, thanks to Remus, I've got to keep that up."

"But why?"

"Just…it'll be suspicious if I don't."

"No, actually Sirius, it would look like Flitwick isn't doing a good job and you'll get to go back to sessions with Lupin." James raised an eyebrow.

"I don't want that. I don't want any tutoring; I'm trying to get off it now. Proving I can get by without it." Sirius hissed quickly, sounding very defensive.

"Are you trying to impress Lupin?"

"NO!" Sirius said sharply, louder than intended.

James resumed with whispers. "Because doing well in school would make him proud."

"Not my goal."

"And it would make sense for you to still want him to be proud of you, he wasn't just some teacher and wasn't just someone you pulled—it was a real thing, right?"

"Of course, that doesn't mean—"

"Do you still love him?"

Sirius stared, then scowled, then actually growled. "I haven't spoken to him in weeks, what do you think?"

"I think you didn't turn him in to McGonagall."

"_That's _because he didn't do anything wrong. It was consensual, I'm not going after him for that."

"You miss him."

"You're completely off your rocker. Where is this coming from?"

"I think he misses you too, Sirius."

"And I think you missed your medication this morning. I'm done with this." Sirius made to stand, grabbing for his books spread across the table. James grabbed his arm. Sirius narrowed his eyes. "Not. Funny."

"Wasn't trying to be, mate. I'm trying to be helpful. You two were good together."

"Oh that's rich. You can barely stand hearing about our relationship but you are suddenly the expert?" Sirius whispered skeptically, but sat back down nonetheless.

"I…he didn't do anything that wrong, did he?" James knew Sirius would protest and internally winced as he did what he had to do. "Look, mate, do you know how many times I wished I could've done what he did?"

"What, fuck me?" Sirius grinned, seeming to take pleasure in the uncomfortable grimace it gave his friend.

"No, you creep, I mean tell someone about your sick father and that bint you call 'Mother'. I just didn't know who to tell, you know? But you needed help, some authority…'people' or whatever need to know what kind of man he is, what he does to his children. I don't know why I didn't say anything, come to think of it, but I'm happy Lupin did. You may hate him for it, you may hate me for thinking of it, but it is really bleeding difficult to sit by and watch your childhood kicked out of you, Sirius. It is damn hard keeping that a secret for you; because it doesn't help it hurts." James took a deep breath, but Sirius didn't interrupt him, he just continued to stare with surprise. James felt his mouth dry, but started again. "So, the way I see it, Lupin did the right thing. He shouldn't have done it quite that way, but he still tried to preserve your relationship, or whatever…boyfriend…companion thing. Don't you smirk at me, you're lucky I know what the proper titles are in heterosexual relationships. And I know you don't want to hear this, but maybe it would be better if someone did know what you've gone through—you might even get a break with school if you play it right. Come on, the bloke did the best he could to preserve his…thing with you, but he wanted to help you with the abuse thing. Don't hate him for that, it means he cares. I think he really does, I think you finally got what you wanted with him. I think he really fell for you and is miserable without you. I think you're lucky to have him, and you'd be completely stupid to let it go without a fight." James finished and took another big breath. Shit, he thought, maybe Lily was right—maybe he really _was _a romantic.

**A/N: You love me, right? Now just click the little button to review and make sure I know it!**


	21. Chapter 21

21…

Remus sat in his office going over some papers. He was reading the words, but he was far from comprehending. He'd had a few good days, but the past month and a half had been virtually the same. The drink didn't help, he felt guilty and sick, and couldn't stop replaying all the glowering looks from Sirius.

But the past week it had gotten just a little bit easier—he'd made a joke in Sirius's class and Sirius had laughed right along with everyone else. He was making slow progress, maybe that was going to be a good start to everything. Sirius would come around…_and they'll all live happily ever after? _Remus's internal monologue questioned mockingly. He knew it was a one-in-a-million chance, and worse than that, Remus had come to understand how badly he'd fallen for this boy. He missed all their time together, he couldn't imagine how he'd survived so many months at Hogwarts, and so many years of life, without him. He'd fallen—hard—for a bloke.

And now Remus knew that he was staying with it, there had been times previous where he'd thought that life would be easier if he found a woman who coped with his being a werewolf; there was certainly a higher chance of it compared to finding a man with that acceptance. But he loved Sirius, still loved him so much and couldn't imagine a woman and barely tolerated the idea of another man. He was taken.

The knock at the door was certainly a shock but he was ready for a distinctly happier distraction from his work. "Come in, please" Remus called.

Sirius slowly pushed the door open and shuffled in. He stood silently, with his hands in his pockets, glancing up at Remus.

Remus was shocked and didn't know what to say, well, he knew what he _wanted _to say but wasn't sure what Sirius wanted from him. He didn't want to assume anything. Although, he reasoned, he was the one who really should start with apologising.

"Sirius…I'm so sorr—just please believe me that I really regret how I handled everything I just—"

"I know." Sirius mumbled and gave a small smile.

Remus felt the relief pour over him, he couldn't help but grin—the kind of grin that Sirius always gave him when he was feeling reckless and free. "Really? You…just thank you, Sirius."

Sirius grinned in response to the sheer happiness on his professor's face. "I forgive you too, in case you were curious."

Remus gave a self-deprecating laugh and shook his head, "I assumed that since you were willing to speak with me but shouldn't have assumed. Sorry, and thank you."

Sirius gave a nervous gesture with his hands. "No, I didn't mean to imply you have to ask for it or something, like some kind of reward system…I just wanted you to know."

They shared an awkward grin and laugh that felt better than anything the past month and a half had yielded.

"I'm sorry too. And I don't say things like that a lot so, you know, er enjoy it." Sirius mumbled scuffing the floor with his shoe absently.

"Sorry for what then?" Remus didn't think Sirius had a whole lot to apologise for—he'd kept his mouth quiet during this whole situation.

"For not talking to you, for taking it so personally. I know you were trying to help, I know that now—just feel like you could have consulted me."

"Would you have talked about it with me?"

"Er, no. Probably not, it's just really not something I like doing a whole lot of thinking about. I live at boarding school, it isn't an issue. And now I live with the Potters, so summer isn't a problem either."

There was a silence between them, as Remus nodded that for Sirius and his chosen method of coping, the problem was indeed no longer. "Where exactly does that leave us then, Sirius?"

"Oh, er…I was sort of wondering if we would…pick things back up? I mean, you probably don't want to but the problem is that I've missed you a lot and I really was enjoying this and I was, I mean I _think_ I was falling—I was falling in. Oh fuck it all, I love you." Sirius let all his thoughts out in one breath, looking anywhere but at Remus as he still felt consumed by nerves.

Remus felt his throat constrict. He stepped round the desk and reached his hand up to lift Sirius's chin. "Hey, you know what?" He felt his hand warm where it was touching Sirius' blushing skin. "Sirius. I'm…I'm right there with you. Yeah, madly and helpless in love with you."

And Remus had never enjoyed a kiss more. It was an absolutely brilliant combination of hesitant and comfortingly familiar with a perfect knowledge of more kisses just like that for a long time to come.

When they broke apart, Remus was surprised to see that Sirius' eyes had developed that moistened look to them. Sirius bit his lip in what conveyed worry but looked exceedingly hot then spoke. "Are you…are you sure? Are we just, just going to go back how it was? Before…other things happened?"

"No." Remus shook his head, but refused to let go of Sirius' waist when the student tried to pull away. "No, Sirius, this isn't going to be like before. We'll be better. Loads better, alright? I really need this to work, I want this more than so much else. I want this to work so much I feel like I might explode."

Sirius grinned instantly, but with a touch of a sentimental blush. "I missed your romantic girly side." And Sirius leaned in to kiss him again, using his own hands on the professor's shoulder blades to draw him in.

"This does mean changes to your current approach…mmm…of coping with your past abus—Sirius!" Remus gasped as Sirius did something particularly brilliant with his teeth against Remus' neck. "You have to talk to me, yeah? And…and I'll—oh God—I'll tell you things."

"Now that's got my interest peaked." Sirius pulled back slightly, panting a little as his eyes glazed over what Remus was sure would be lasting marks on his neck. "What are you going to tell me?"

"Whatever you want. Honesty, openness, officially our new motto."

Sirius grabbed his professor's shoulders and shoved him none too gently against the wall, lifting Remus' arms so they stretched towards the ceiling. Sirius trailed his hands upwards until his fingers were inseparably linked to his lover's, used to pin him against the wall. Well, that, and their hard groins pressed impossibly close. Sirius leaned into Remus' ear to whisper hoarsely.

"I want to know about your past."

Remus gasped. "Of course…"

"You sexual escapades."

"Sirius…"

"Why you want to bottom, what your secret little kinks are…"

"Ah!" A thrust of the student's hips caused another gasp.

"All about your painful experiences as a werewolf…"

"That does nothing for the libido here, Sirius!"

"…so that I'll talk about my personal shit."

"Ah, that can be arranged."

"And I want to kiss you. At least once a day, every day."

"Well, that's going to be doable, I think…"

"A real, proper kiss."

"Are you going to continue to make demands or are we going to get on to the making up part?"

And Sirius shut up, surging forward for another kiss that stole Remus' breath. After a good few moments in that particular kiss, Sirius brought their locked hands down and between their bodies. He broke the kiss and Remus noticed he looked exceedingly nervous.

"Can we…do you think we…I mean, we are—"

"We are going to fuck." Remus gave a wicked grin as he repeated Sirius's comment from months ago. He grabbed the younger man's hand and pulled him quickly through the rooms until there was nothing but the two of them and the bed.

Both professor and student kneeled on the bed, tracing their hands over the other one's clothing. Sirius was the first to start undoing buttons, but Remus wasn't far behind.

"I missed you being naked." Sirius said conversationally as he gripped Remus's hip with one hand and let the other one trail across the exposed chest.

Remus's chest shook as he laughed. "I was hoping there was more to it than that, Sirius."

Sirius moved his head down to lick and bite gently at his professor's nipple. "Well, there were some other aspects of interest, but I felt that your body was most relevant now."

"Excellent analysis, Mr. Black."

Remus grabbed for Sirius's hair and leaned up to kiss him. He let his hands gently hold Sirius's face still as he brought everything he had into the kiss. He sucked heavily on Sirius's tongue and brought them both back to the lying position, with Sirius on top. Sirius moaned and gyrated against him.

Remus reached blindly onto the table next to the bed, fumbling for his wand. When he had it firmly in his grasp, he pulled back from the kiss and raised an eyebrow and waited.

Sirius, still panting, raised an eyebrow in return. "Do you really think I give a _fuck_ about logistics and turn-taking? Really?"

"Just giving you options…" Remus grinned nonetheless. Sirius and his cursing in the heat of passion was really quite sexy for Remus.

"No, you're giving me hints. If you want to get on your hands and knees and let some schoolboy fuck you, you could've just asked." Sirius grabbed the wand and pulled off, giving Remus the opportunity to turn over onto his stomach.

But Remus sat up and gently threw Sirius onto his back on the bed. When the younger man's grasp on the wand weakened with the fall, Remus snatched the wand and straddled his student. "How does this work for you, schoolboy?"

Sirius grinned back and let his hand trail up Remus's scarred thigh to his groin, giving a quick squeeze to the leaking cock. Remus groaned. "I think its fair play, isn't it? You ride my arse in class, I think I'll like the change—you know, you riding something else entirely."

Quickly applying the tip of the wand to his own arse, Remus shivered when he felt the cold liquid. He tossed the wand aside and jumped slightly when he felt a finger at his entrance.

"Can I…?" Sirius was adorably hesitant. Remus nodded and smiled, he was nervous but wanted this so much. He wanted to move to this new place with Sirius. He wanted to _feel _Sirius, wanted Sirius deep.

Sirius moved his finger in slowly, and then back out. Slowly he continued with a second one. The position was awkward with Remus kneeling over Sirius's lap as the student sat with one hand balancing him on the bed and the other reached around and behind and _in _his professor.

He seemed amazed at the reaction he was getting from Remus, especially once he started adding a second and third finger. Pushing in as far as he could, knowing it was hitting Remus perfectly every few strikes.

"If we don't do this soon…Sirius, I'm going to…" Remus almost shook with the need, his hands braced on both sides of Sirius's head. He was slowly, subconsciously, pushing his erection against Sirius's own—anything to bring friction and released. He'd forgotten how good this felt.

Sirius removed his fingers quickly and took a nervous breath as he moved his hands to grip Remus's waist. "What, what do you want me to do?" He honestly had no idea, but so clearly wanted to know. Wanted to learn everything Remus could show him about sex.

Remus knelt up again and braced himself as he sank back down on Sirius. Yes, it hurt a little. Yes, he'd obviously give the lectures over the next few days standing with limited pacing. But yes, it was amazing and hot and hard and Remus was forgetting how to breathe. He felt lightheaded and slid down quickly so that he could lie himself down on top of Sirius. All his skin sliding along Sirius's felt too tight and so sensitive and just wonderful.

There was silence as the two men just stared. Remus felt there was something so completely brilliant about just lying there with a hard, throbbing heat but silently saying and feeling everything through the eyes. Sirius had beautiful eyes, perfectly deep and wonderful and…almost completely dilated. Remus grinned.

Bracing himself, Remus shifted up on his knees to start a steady pace. Sirius gasped and appeared to be trying to speak. Remus silenced with a kiss, but the kiss brought Sirius fully in him at which point he hit Remus's prostate. Squeezing through the rush of blinding pleasure, Remus felt more than he heard Sirius crying out his name and the subsequent warming of the inside of his ass.

Sirius's breathing slowed and Remus grinned down at the blushing student. He was impossibly hard and certainly wasn't getting anywhere by staying in the current position. He pulled off of Sirius with a groan and lightly steps off the bed in search of his wand.

"Remus…oh, fuck. I'm really sorry—just sorry, I-I didn't mean to, you know…it was, so much. Fuck, that was…amazing, too amazing—I'm so sorry. I swear, I tried not to…you know…"

"Come?" Remus asks conversationally as he gets back on the bed and rolls Sirius's onto his front. He patronizingly patted his student's arse. "You'll make it up to me." Remus heard Sirius give a rather happy groan.

He maneuvered Sirius's knees until they were pulled up under his chest. He quickly prepared Sirius, because yes—he was in a bit of a rush, and thrust in. And holy hell, he'd forgotten how wonderful Sirius felt like this.

Remus finished rather soon after, and while Sirius attempted to go again it didn't happen. Probably just as well, because they were both exhausted and Remus was actually looking forward to the pillow talk—particularly on the subject of the coming weeks and months.

**A/N: Hope this makes everyone happy. Because it has sex in it, happy sex specifically. Review because I'm double the cripple right now (dislocated both kneecaps), my friend isn't responding to my emails, and I have a paper due Tuesday in a class that I hate where I disagree with the professor on **_**everything**_**. Please make me happy, love you all for reading this far!! **


	22. Chapter 22

22…

Sirius was sitting in Remus's sitting room lightly tapping his quill against the parchment. He'd been back studying at Remus's a few times a week for the past month and now that it was April and exams were coming up he spent a lot more time there…purely for studying, obviously.

He glanced up slowly, feeling an odd sensation. Remus was grading papers, but right now he was staring at Sirius with such intensity that it almost scared him. "Remus…?"

The spell seemed to break; Remus smiled and shook his head. "Sorry, drifted off there for a moment. Back to the droll work of grading, I promise."

"Yeah, sure…" Sirius returned to his paper. He wasn't going to get anymore done tonight, he clearly didn't want to be working. He _wanted _to be having sex. Well, that was a given on any night. But perhaps he would avoid work with some simple questions.

"Why were you staring?"

"Hm, I'm sorry?" Remus glanced up from his papers. He looked really cute with his hair falling into his eyes, the faint blush on his cheeks from being cooped up in his stifling robes and a room with a roaring fire.

"You were staring. Am I really that pretty?" Sirius batted his eyes and struck an effeminate pose. Remus laughed with that loud laugh that he normally didn't share with everyone and made Sirius's stomach twist in the best way.

"Yes, that's it. You're girlish features just do it for me, can't explain it."

"Oy! Not funny…so come on, why the stare?"

Remus bit his lip in a way that said he wished Sirius hadn't asked. "I just…er, Sirius. What are you doing this summer?"

"This summer? Nothing…James's parents are taking him to Japan for a holiday-graduation gift combination." Sirius couldn't ignore the wonderful way the nerves were bunching in his stomach again. _Why was Remus asking? Did he want Sirius to be involved in his summer?_

"Did you want to…I mean, I know you aren't going to go home, yes?"

"Yeah, mum and dad really aren't interested in having me around this summer…or next year…or ever, actually. I'll be lucky to get a spot in their last will, won't I?"

"Did you want to do something, something with me this summer?"

Sirius could tell that Remus looker nervous but he felt far more nervous himself. That didn't stop the answer from coming to his lips in an instant. "Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes. Anything, what did you want to do?"

Remus seemed pleasantly surprised by the fervor with which Sirius was agreeing. "Oh well, I've been wanting to see Spain—"

"Brilliant."

"I'd want to read a lot, of course."

"Obviously. I do know who I'm dating, you know." The word 'dating' felt funny and Sirius knew Remus felt it too. Not bad, just an odd choice for what they had. But a slight smile and nod from Remus made it feel like it wasn't the _wrong _choice.

"I just…what are you planning on doing next year?"

"Eh, haven't thought too much about it, you know that. I was thinking about doing something with Muggle Relations just to terrify my parents. But perhaps some sort of logistics work, perhaps intelligence. I looked into it, just a little. There's a whole load of blokes who tell the Aurors where to go and stuff, they plan the missions. Seems like fun, without having to be in the field."

"I'm surprised you wouldn't want to be in the field." Remus commented as he pushed the chair back and stood, walking over to sit next to Sirius on the sofa.

"No, I like the field stuff, I guess, but the hours would be bloody awful." Sirius shook his head.

Remus laughed out loud again. "You sound so old—you have enough energy to work two days straight, the hours would not be the problem!"

"Two days straight…I should probably practice working that _long_ and that _hard_. Should start now."

"Mm, at least get a preview of the 'hard' part." With that, Remus pulled his student and boyfriend in closely.

And as they were kissing and letting it turn into something more, it occurred to Sirius they had just made plans for the future and it didn't feel awkward or mushy or dramatically romantic at all. It just felt comfortable and good.

**A/N: Sorry I'm late. I've been super busy with school, I'm taking some tough classes, you know. That and the boyfriend…but mainly the schoolwork, I swear! Let me know if you liked this! *puppy dog eyes***


	23. Chapter 23

23…

With only 3 weeks left in the school year, in the entirety of Sirius's education, really, Remus felt relieved. He was happy that he wouldn't have to hide things anymore, that he could honestly say who he was with. Granted, he couldn't mention how they had met. Or how long they had been dating. He should probably avoid mentioning the age difference, or his occupation. But other than that, they were in the clear.

Remus was also excited about the prospect of traveling to Spain with Sirius. He'd always wanted to visit the continent, take a look at some of the wizarding history firsthand, but it had never worked. He didn't have the steady job to finance the trip, despite his constant scrimping, until now. Hogwarts paid very well. He'd been offered a position at Hogwarts for the next school year, but he honestly wasn't sure. He'd love to teach at Hogwarts, he deserved a stable job after so many years struggling with that issue, but then he probably would be living at school. Alone.

He'd gotten very attached to Sirius; he was upset when he had to be alone. He wasn't willing to end their relationship for the sake of his job, regardless of how long he'd wanted it. The tables certainly had turned, seeing as only a few months previous he'd planned on giving up anything with Sirius for the safety of his job. But now, Remus only wanted his Sirius. He just wanted to be with him, although logically he knew that he'd need a job to survive.

But there was something about his time with Sirius that changed everything…he'd been looking into offers in the paper, small jobs that let him work from home or have a job where he didn't have to live away from home and the boyfriend he loved. He loved Sirius and had planned his future with Sirius in it. That hadn't happened before. Ever.

Sighing as he rinsed out a teacup in his private toilet, the one in which Sirius had hid only months before, Remus realised he wasn't going to let this go. He could not, and would not, let Sirius out of his life. He couldn't simply move on after the year ended in favour of securing his career as professor at Hogwarts. He realised rather suddenly that he _was_ going to give that up, if necessary. Perhaps the Headmaster could find him something else, could give a recommendation. Remus could spit out some excuse that he was worried the students would find out his werewolf status so he had to leave.

Remus could hear a faint knocking on his door in the other room, bringing him out of his reverie. Quickly wiping his hands on the tea towel, Remus opened the door. To find James on the other side.

"So, hi. Erm, I just wanted to stop by, Professor, had some questions for the final exam."

"Yes, please come in." Remus didn't entirely believe him, and those ideas were confirmed when as soon as he shut the door James turned to face him with a look of determination and fear.

"Alright, I'm not here for the final." James bit his lip.

"I suspected as much, Mr. Potter." Remus decided to play the wise, smirking professor. He was too happy with Sirius to let his lover's judgmental friend get in the way—something he knew was about to happen.

"Yeah, alright. I figured, but I just wanted to say some stuff to you. My parents are taking me to Japan this summer and its pretty expensive so Sirius can't come with. He's been talking a lot about doing stuff with you this summer, like _a lot_ of shit about that and I just want you to know that if you don't follow through—"

"I will. I've already made arrangements for Spain this summer."

James didn't seem to loss momentum with the interruption. "Fine, but after this summer. You get a summer fling, but next year? He's going to be out on the streets and I can't do that much for him, I'll be doing more schooling for being Auror. I don't want my best friend screwed around with, so I'm warning you that if that happens I won't care that you're a Professor, okay? I just _won't_. You'd better watch yourself."

Remus wasn't too sure about how he was supposed to respond. Potter was very protective, but Remus was very private. He wasn't going to calm Potter's nerves about Sirius by revealing too much about his own emotions towards Sirius. He just didn't like people knowing things about him, not that much.

"Mr. Potter. I don't want you worrying about Sirius's relationship with me, and certainly don't worry about what next autumn brings for us."

"Too late, I'm already worried."

"And so am I." Remus sighed; apparently he'd be talking a little. "I want Sirius to stay interested in me. But that's up to him, not either of us. All I can promise you is that I'm interested in spending lots more time with Sirius—as long as he'll have me. Alright?"

James, completely dismissed Remus's confession of continuing pining after Sirius and focused on the 'what if's of the statement. "What the hell do you mean , "its up to him"? You think he's going to leave you? Because I'm telling you right now, that's not okay. He needs stability and he really likes you, or whatever, and he'd be an idiot to back out of this."

Remus grinned slightly. James was as awkward as he was passionate about the subject. "Look, he's in this relationship because its edgy and its new and its against the rules. But how long do you think that fun will last, hm? And I'm also ready to settle down—I'll bet a few Galleons that he isn't. So, it comes down to Sirius to decide if he's willing to be boring with me or move on once the excitement of an illicit affair is over."

**A/N: (Belated Merry Christmas!)**

**Alright, this is short but I'm going to have the last 2 chapters out pretty quickly. And then, I think, this will be done. Any feedback on this chapter? I'd really love to hear it! It might encourage me to post Chapter 24 faster. (Yup, that's blackmail, kids.)**


	24. Chapter 24

24…

As Remus sat alone in bedroom later, he realised he'd probably talked too much. He hadn't known how many nerves he had, how upset he was about the possibility of Sirius leaving, how paranoid his inner-romantic was about all the ways his boyfriend could leave him. But apparently he'd stored up all this nervous upset thinking and let it out on James Potter at the slightest of pushes. (Well, the pushes weren't so much as slight as they were harsh and cornering.)

After his rant Potter had nodded after a quick moment. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I'll see where he stands, subtly, you know? Because he really needs you, Professor, we just have to make sure he knows it." James had left and Remus had not heard from either of them as he finished grading several essays and went to the Great Hall for dinner.

Sirius was supposed to come by later for…things. But at this point in the evening, with it being well past 10 at night, Remus wasn't terribly hopefully. He knew that it could be schoolwork—Sirius could have finally started taking it seriously, despite how little was left. He knew it could be time with the other blokes—Sirius usually liked to sneak into the kitchens and blow off steam with James. He knew it could be a fight—another instance where he didn't realise until too late he'd said something personal and stupid to another person and Sirius was rightly angry. Despite how long ago their break-up had been, it still smarted when Remus thought of that time apart. How much time had they lost because he stupidly said too much to someone else?

But it seemed less hurtful—he'd only talked to someone who was on Sirius's side and not someone who his boyfriend viewed as an enemy. And in Remus's defense, he'd only been taking part in a conversation that James had started…oh dear, that sounded like the set-up to his conversation with Minerva too. Damn.

Lying in bed, Remus heard a sudden pounding on his door as it crashed open. He'd turned out the light, but a lone candle illuminated the face of one Sirius Black. He looked both frustrated and amused. Remus sat up in bad, belatedly noticing he was only wearing a thin pair of sleep pants and Sirius was subconsciously leering at his bare chest.

"You know what, Remy darling?" Sirius's tone was all mocking, which was probably a good sign. He would give the cold shoulder if he was truly angry. But has he launched into a speech, Sirius began pulling off his clothing. "I cannot seem to understand how you haven't figured it out: I'm the fucked up one in this relationship, I'm the problem child, I'm the inexperienced one with daddy issues, I'm the rebel without a cause, do you understand what I'm saying? You don't have any right to start being paranoid and silly about "our future". _Your _job is to stand there looking hot and all professor-like while you talk about everything like its going to be okay." The last of the clothing fell. "_Not_ to turn into a little pansy and start gossiping about your nerves and feelings. Way to represent the gay wizard community to James there, Remus. Just a stand-up girly job. So from now on, I'm going to be the idiot who knows you are too good for me but refuses to ever let go—and I damn well mean it, I'll not be going anywhere because loving you isn't boring and never will be—and you're going to be the genius who knows everything about relationships and life but still hasn't figured out you could do better than me. And that's what is going to happen for a bloody long time. Are we clear?"

Remus just stared at his naked boyfriend, who was completely out of breath and thus heaving as he stood at the foot of the bed. He was half hard. Remus looked him up and down and loved Quidditch even more with every second he stared. Looking upwards from the torso and downright beautiful shoulders, Remus noticed Sirius starring at him impatiently with raised eyebrows.

"You didn't answer the question, Professor, did you?" Sirius actually sounded slightly peeved. His hands were on his hips and he seemed to be thrusting his pelvis forward slightly. Remus noticed. What he wasn't paying attention to was the words coming out of Sirius's mouth.

Remus soon felt the wind knocked out of him as his back hit the bed. Sirius was straddling him, making quick work of the thin pants he _had_ been wearing. Sirius quickly began to move his hand tightly over Remus's cock, helping it harden, and he couldn't help but throw his head back into the pillows and moan. Damn, but it felt good. Wonderful, perfect—it felt like Sirius.

When he felt a confident finger in him, Remus's head jumped up. He was surprised—Sirius had certainly taken to this skill rather well. Remus felt his inner body essentially searched by his boyfriend as fingers were added and he vaguely heard Sirius continuing a rather brisk rant.

"Haven't answered yet, have you? Dear, dear Lupin. Can't seem to find the words, can you? I'll help." Sirius scrunched up his face and took a terribly inaccurate falsetto to his voice. "'Oh Sirius, I'm so sorry I was such a prat. I realise that you are serious about me, and I don't know what made me talk to James. I guess I was feeling girly and silly, I have those moments when I act like a little woman. I sometimes wish I was a woman, you know Sirius, I guess that is why I'm moaning and lusting at the fact my boyfriend's cock is in me.'"

Sirius stared pointedly down at him and Remus blindly noticed that yes, Sirius was in him. Taking control, thrusting in him, and hitting the prostate perfectly. God, wonderful. He was so brilliant at this when he was cross, Remus noted to repeat this every few weeks. Because this relationship would continue, he knew, as he panted and groaned at the feelings inside him. Sirius would stay, Sirius wouldn't be bored, Sirius would be loved. They just might have found a damn good, well-functioning relationship at a stodgy boarding school as professor and student

Sirius moved his hand over Remus's cock, and continued thrusting as he became more desperate. Remus came quite shortly after his cock was touched—the pinch to his left nipple didn't hurt—and felt his body melt into the bed. Sirius leaned down and violently kissed him, nearly whining in the back of his throat with need. Finally succumbing, Sirius came and shouted Remus's name. Collapsing, he rolled to the side and took several minutes to catch his breath.

"That was brilliant." Remus finally said into the silence. Sirius only lifted himself onto his right forearm and propped his head up. He looked rather bemused at Remus.

"You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you? You still didn't answer my question. No compliments until you answer me: are we clear on this whole in-a-happy-relationship-until-I-say-it's-over business?"

Remus lifted himself up and kissed Sirius lightly on the lips. "We are clear, perfecting clear. So glad you pointed it out to me in such a helpful manner. We should try this method in the future when needed again and again."

**A/N: Ah-ha! I've updated. And a sex scene. You should all be bloody thrilled with me. Now, the reason the ending of that last chapter was so choppy is that I knew I wanted to write a sex scene right after, but I was nowhere near done with it so I thought I'd give a little snippet of a scene first. Better that than nothing, although it completely wasn't my best. Cheers until the last chapter, which you get to vote on, namely because this story would have been nothing without all of you. **

**Epilogue months later**

**Their trip in Spain**

**Graduation from Hogwarts**


	25. Chapter 25

Sirius was lying in bed, wishing he was asleep. There was work in the morning and it was already 2:30, sleep was a long ways away. He readjusted his arm, thrown across Remus's chest. His chest, toned as ever, was quite a bit tanner. Sirius grinned—he took full credit for that.

"_Sirius, we are on a beach. A public place, anyone has access to!" Remus slowly pushed Sirius out of his arms and even with the sun shining down into his eyes, Sirius could tell Remus was blushing. _

"_Come on, it is a beach. You need to take your shirt off, anything else and you _will_ stand out!"_

"_Sirius, I don't exactly care to advertise my scars." _

"_Three things wrong with that. One, darling Remus I know you are wonderful and adorable, but really—no one else is looking at you but me. Two, I've seen the scars so the sharing is certainly on par with our normal interactions. Three, your shirt is still own and if you want me to try taking it off with my teeth I will."_

_The shirt came off. And has the beach cleared of people and the night set in and the far off lights of the village went on, more clothes came off. Sirius had been restless throughout the day, attempting to share 'intimate moments' with his former professor all over the place. That's what they were here for, he figured. At the very least, there was intense snuggling on the beach. Remus cared about who saw, but the kind of discretion on this particular trip had been arranged by Remus very carefully. He'd made sure the Muggle village had a habit of hosting gay couples, partly because they themselves were gay and so it obviously applied…and partly because he figured discretion worked well if anything Wizard-ly came up. _

_However, Sirius was pleased to note the only wizardly thing coming up were their wands—no, even for Sirius that pun hurt. Remus was warming up to the idea of getting things on at the beach. They had been tanning the entire day and resting together, Sirius was quite warm and soaring high with the thrill of being there with Remus. _

"_We need to do something sexual, dear." Sirius whispered into Remus's ear. _

"_Mmm, wait. What?" Remus started to sit up. "What the hell do you think you are doing?"_

"_I need to do wonderful things to you. I'd like you to participate, I really would, but you seem less than willing to let me make sweet love to you in public, not subtle and sneaky enough. So I'll just blow you until you aren't aware that people are within a mile."_

Yes, that was definitely a good night. Actually, it lasted until the morning—so the morning was pretty good too. And then there was a quick nap, and then a shower. Damn good shower. Remus had his mouth sucking the life out of Sirius's cock and his fingers firmly inside his arse and Sirius was blinded by the lust of not knowing which way to go. Good vacation all the way around.

As for now, Sirius was horny thinking about the memories and lying next to the subject of the fantasies. It felt a shame to waste the opportunity.

"Remus…wake up." Sirius shook his hand slightly where it rested on his boyfriend's chest.

"Urgh…mhhhk." Unintelligible noises slowly came from Remus as he came into consciousness. "Time for work? Don't want to…"

"No, it's sex time."

Remus rolled around a little and groaned as he opened his eyes. "Really? I have to be at work at 0800. Can't this happen…later?"

"God, you really are the wife in this, aren't you?"

"Just the practical one, Sirius." Remus said patiently as he tried to burrow back under the blankets.

"But I want you."

"But I want sleep."

"Do you remember when I told you I was hit by my dad?"

That got his attention. Remus sat up and nodded slowly, his face settling into the calm 'you-can-tell-me-anything' expression that Sirius loved. "Of course, I remember. Did you want to talk about it?"

"Only if we fuck first."

Remus rolled his eyes and collapsed back on the bed, "oh really, Sirius!"

"Or during!"

"I'm going back to bed."

"I love you!"

"I love sleeping. You rank second tonight, Mr. Black."

"Hey, Professor Remus?"

"I've not been your professor for about 3 months."

"You'll always be a professor to me." Sirius said sweetly.

"I'm currently a researcher."

"In the Ministry of Magic's Library of Historical Artifiacts! My boyfriend, sneaking through the government to bring werewolves closer to running this thing: one artifact at a time."

"Yes, that's my primary goal. Now, let's sleep."

Sirius nodded and then gave Remus a very serious look. "But first I must know…can we snuggle?"

"Yes, yes, yes. The question is: can you snuggle quietly?"

"I only talk about it because I want you to know how much I appreciate it."

"I appreciate quiet."

"Ah-ha! The real reason you work in a library is revealed!"

"Sleep. Now."

"Love you."

Remus opened one eye and lifted his head a little to look more closely at Sirius. "That love is so mutual it is scary, Sirius."

Sirius immediately kissed him. "Good kind of scary, I hope?"

"Absolutely, dear student of mine."

"Student? You want to play that game again?"

"I _am_ already awake."

"Excellent! Let me get my old Hogwarts robes! Now, where'd you put that really nice gold tie, it is my favourite on you, brings attention to those sexy, intellectual eyes of yours…"

**A/N: Alright. That's it. The end of my story. I reread the whole thing today, actually not too bad. Some obvious flaws—grammar, tweaks in the plot, ect. But I'm generally happy, I hope you are too. Please let me know. I realized that this has taken almost 3 years to finish, so some serious thanks are in order.**

**Psycho Hippy: For the occasional beta and general support with life and Scotland.**

**Evil Jenyus: For being an awesome theatre geek who doesn't mind slow responses from yours truly. A fantastic friendship has been formed, started by fangirl madness. I'm proud of that. I will forever be jealous you live in a place where gay marriage is legal.**

**Liz (I'd write her ff account name but it is embarrassingly empty because someone is too busy to write. Pft): For betas and friendship and having secret conversation via eyebrow-raising with me about our slash love whilst we were in public with our more normal friends.**

**MinervaEvenstar, Dark Angel's Blue Fire, koorimechick, MagicalWinry, buggie21, blackrose1993, Ali-chan et Vani-chan, TheyCallMeCyclone, ravenclawroyalty, gwennygrail, VintageOppression, EdwardsLily, Artemis Rampant: For reviewing nearly every chapter. You diehards kept this going, cyberthanks aren't enough! (probably a few others so sorry for forgetting you!)**

**My mom: I'm not sure why, I suppose everything. I know for a fact she will NEVER read this. I make it my goal to see she won't. But you know, that seems like the kind of person you'd thank at a time like this.**

**REVIEW. Much love, SK**


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